#not that we have a choice. but it’s actually a nauseating to watch an influencer do it idk | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

katsukikitten · 4 years ago

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Warnings: 18+ NSFW, mentions of animal harm, sexual themes, god/fantasy au for BNHAREM this badboi is 8k so enjoy~

The sound of a wind chime echoes across the small field just outside your home. The breeze carries the smell of summer bloomed blossoms and with it the threat of rain as it comes from down the mountain.

A soft brown creature catches your eye as your mother picks flowers and berries for the festival.

“Bunbun!” You exclaim, pointing as you tug on your mother’s tattered kimono, she responds with a soft hmm. Her eyes still focused on the wide range of flowers although her vision blurs.

But at least you weren’t picked for this festival, no it would be many years before you would be in the running. Your mother’s only wish was for you to be unfavorable. Mother is so engrossed that she does not see you slip away, slowly following the bunny into the forest.

Soon the soft brown creature begins to hop, faster and faster as you giggle running full speed ahead. Not noticing how the trees thicken or how dark eyes seem to peer through the trees, their mawls salivating with unsated hunger. With gnashing teeth they stalk ever closer all the while you rush to catch the creature just for it to jump high into the air. Nose diving straight for the ground, you copy its actions but the bunny is faster than you. Slipping into the burrow with ease as you fall face first into dirt and rocks.

“O..ow. Momma!” You sniffle, turning around for some much needed motherly love, but instead of your mother hunched over collecting boring things in her basket you are met with a dense forest. The setting sun washes over the trees giving the thick pines and maples a ghoulish red hue. Suddenly you are hyper aware of the sounds around you, a stick snaps in the brush. Your head turns as if you were a startled deer, eyes wide, heart racing as you strain to hear over the rushing blood in your ears. Dark figures move in the long shadows and haunting laughs echo around you. Beady eyes shine in the darkness causing a small whimper to leave your lips. Acting on instinct you rush to your feet, running through the woods. Briers snatch at your small ankles, leaving angry red lines in their wake, wanting nothing more than to make you a child of the forest.

“MOOOM!” You shout, panting as they force you further into the mountain, you take a quick left when one jumps from the right causing you to trip over a branch falling into a small clearing, faintly you hear the rush of a spring.

Scuffling rouses a sleepy garnet haired man who lounges in a steaming hot spring, that’s sprinkled with fallen petals of mountain flowers. He thinks to dismiss it until a scream cuts through the serenity of the pines. Whatever animal it is, it sounds small and this stirs something in the mountainous man. Sadly this was the circle of life, he reminds himself as he sinks deeper into the burning hot spring.

“MOMMA HELP PWEESE!!” You scream, trying to get up but this time you are entangled in a briar patch, thorn and vine twisting around your tender skin. It seems the wicked green plant will have its wish.

All the while the shadows stalk closer, their bright beady eyes blown wide as their jaws unhinge for their meal. They get on their haunches to launch themselves at you until something causes them to freeze. The trees shake around you while the Earth rumbles as if there were a thunder storm beneath the rich dirt.

“Hello little flower. Are you lost?” You whip your head towards the sound. Lip quivering as you stare up at a tall, built man. But it was his eyes that stood out the most.

His glistening rubies glow as fading sunlight catches his hair, emphasizing that the strands are a red so deep one could mistake it as black. Your eyes play tricks on you as the air seems charged and yet calm, giving him a surreal aura. He stands tall, half relaxed as one arm is lazily hanging from his dark rose kimono while the rest of his sculpted body is exposed to the slowly cooling air. You weigh your options as best you can before you scramble to your savior. Clinging to his leg as your tears begin to stain his kimono.

He breathes in deeply and before he can speak the dark figures vanish, melting into the shadows that stretch in the last winking light of the Sun. He crouches down to you, pushing hair past your face.

“Don’t cry little flower. Here.” A beautiful flower crown appears in his hands. The white petals with contrasting amethyst stripes down the center seem to have their own shimmering bio-luminescence making it feel other worldly as he places it atop your head. He chooses the dietes flower for its symbolism and rarity, unknowingly sealing your fate.

“Is that better, little one?” You nod in response, sniffling softly as he scoops you up walking you until he can just see what must be your home through the thick trees. He watches what he assumes your mother to panic, as the village shouts what must be your name.

“You’ll have to walk the rest of the way okay little flower?” He sets you down gently before you give a big nod. Cold bare feet crunching the leaves against the forest floor.

You come into the clearing of your home, the sea of yellows, pinks and reds winking in the stark light of the moon.

“Momma…” You call softly, the world stops turning on its axis before she rushes to you, pulling you into her arms before her eyes are filled with overflowing fear. Fat droplets leave her long lashes as she snatches the crown away, but it is too late. It has been seen by all.

“Oh she is favored by the Gods.” Someone comments.

“If she grows into anything like her mother she will be the best choice to appease the Mountain God!"

"Let us mark this day and the family name so we may remember 16 years from now."

They continue to gossip as your mother squeezes you tight enough that it hurts. Her mind racing as she carries you inside, she tucks you in without a word of a scolding. Coaxing you to drink some lavender tea that pulls you into a deep sleep beneath the symphony of crickets and the like.

You do not hear your mother return and if you do, you guess she is doing her nightly routine. Fluffing your blankets and making sure your futon is warm enough but what you weren’t expecting was the cold bite of a blade pressing into the flesh above your left eyebrow.

"Mom…Momma’s sorry baby.” She chokes on her sobs as she pulls the cool metal hard and deep, crying so loud she can barely hear your scream.

But that was how long ago? Almost two decades? You toss a rock into your reflection, distorting your marred face as your childhood flashes before your eyes.

You remember there was shouting, lots of shouting of how you are now “unfavorable” “dishonorable” “an abomination” the next day and from then it’s a blur of insults and isolation. Nothing but the wind in your hair, the creaking of the trees and a dream of glistening rubies kept you alive, desperate to return to the last time you were happy. Although you were unsure of who you saw in the mountain that fated night, a part of you could guess. It had to be the Spirit of the Mountain, Kirishima. Because who else actually looked like the painted scrolls that littered the village and shrines? In your opinion they had his image all wrong.

He does not scowl or wear a grimace, no his smile is sharp toothed and bright. You sigh, wondering if you will ever bump into him again.

An inhuman scream tears through the serenity of the babbling brook causing a chill to run through your spine. If you had to guess it was most likely a fox or wolf finally catching up to its meal.

“They must eat too…” You murmur to yourself, drawing your knees to your chest. The wind rustles the leaves overhead giving you sharp visions of beady black eyes from the past.

“Don’t let it get away!” A shout from your left before the animal comes scurrying through the brush, running smack into your lap. It is a small fox, its tail missing and in its wake a crude weeping cut. Your vision blurs red as you take off your top layer of kimono, wrapping the poor thing in the brown fabric.

The culprits come into view, the village elder’s son holds the tail while his favorite goon holds the knife. Red falls to the Earth in nauseating droplets.

“Well well well, looks like we found something else we can carve up huh?” The goon asks with a smile, “Just keep quiet freak."

The elder’s son is hesitant, something odd grows in his eyes and chest. Suddenly the tail feels a lot heavier than what it was moments ago, especially so under the weight of your single gaze. Your left eye although clouded over seems to stare straight into his soul. Can you see the desperation he has? Worst yet can you see how tainted he is?

"Oi Kenji” The goon nudges him, clearly only hanging around the future heir for his influence and with it a hope of immunity to terrorize as he pleases.

The motion brings him back to the present while a plan begins to form in his head. Would anyone believe the dishonorable, disowned freak over him? Could he do things to you that no matter how loud you screamed the truth it would fall on deaf ears?

His cruel smile is an answer in of itself as he takes a step towards you, it wouldn’t be hard to make you his. You take a step back, mindful of the sun’s position and your surroundings. They both creep nearer as you hold the shaking animal to you, you turn on your heel rushing through the woods. They were fast and well trained however no one knew these woods like you did.

It was as if you knew of every fallen leaf or broken branch as you rushed through the deep green leaves. Dodging low branches that they hit face first, holes they tripped in and even a dead deer carcass that you bound in a single leap. You hear a crash and one of them gag as your feet urge you forward, looking over your shoulder.

That is until your run into something so solid you fall right onto your ass, the small animal gives a whimper on your lap.

“I could have sworn…” The sound of rushing water swallows up the rest of your thought as you look up to what you’ve run into. Wholly expecting a tree stood a man, with deep garnet hair and a sharp toothed smile. Immediately your blood turns cold, the air about him seeming other worldly as the forest quiets and slows in his presence.

“Ah, are you alright?” He asks, extending his hand to you, gingerly you take it. His calloused hand is warm and strong as he lifts you to your feet, ruby eyes staring at the bundle in your hand.

“May I?” Hesitantly you pass the bundle, he frowns at its contents before setting the small fox on the ground, waving his fingers to heal its wound. The fox looks at the healer, seemingly giving him a small bow before rushing back into the safety of the brush.

“The fox told me what you did. Thank you.” His smile is blinding and dazzling. He offers you a single white flower, the amethyst stripe up the middle causes your stomach to tighten.

“Do you always give out good fortune?” You ask quietly, turning the wild iris over in your hand. He laughs, if he recognizes you he does not show it but you are sure this is the man who gave you an abundance of “good fortune” years ago. Your scar burns from the thought. Your mother did tell you stories of the Gods playing cruel jokes.

But was Kirishima truly a maleficent God?

You bit your lower lip. A warm hand cups your chin, a soft smile on his face as he turns your left side to you.

“Do I know you dear heart?” His voice is soft, eyes half mast almost lazily gazing upon your features. You tuck the iris in your ear and it seems to jog his memory.

“Little flower!” His voice becomes larger, sharper, as his thumb swipes over the deep fissure on your cheek “What happened?!"

His touch is comforting but not enough you wish to relive the trauma again.

"I wish not to speak about it.” Your eyes catch the position of the sun. Gently you step from his soft grip.

“I must return home for dinner before I cause my mother to worry.” You bow formally, presenting the flower “Thank you Kamisama but I cannot accept your blessing."

You stand like that long enough your back begins to hurt causing a deep fear to flow through your veins.

Was he angry that you dared to reject him?

Your feet burn with the urge to run but you dismiss it, finally his large fingers grasps at the small stem holding the rarity in his hands. Eyes roving over you, you peek up to check his gaze and while he looks level headed to you, you decide to leave before you find out if he isn’t.

He stares after you, eyes curious and yet not surprised as to how he could have forgotten about someone as remarkable as you.

But how could he remember?

You are nothing more than a mere mortal and you were a child at that. A blip, a hazy day dream even, in his infinite lifetime.

So what interest would he have in a life so fleeting that should he rouse from a nap he would be meeting your great grandchildren who could remember nothing more about you than your name?

And yet when he looked at you now, as a full grown woman, something bloomed in his chest. Your scar adding to your mystic beauty, especially after what the fox had told him.

His ruby eyes return to the flower as he ponders over your question in his head.

A week or so passes, as you’re sure to avoid the Mountain God. Still fearing he may be angered by your rejection.

But you cannot stay from the depths of the forest long. Staring down at your reflection in the water you sigh, running your hand through the cool water debating if you will bathe in one of the many hot springs tonight. A scurrying in the bush pulls your attention to the here and now. Muscles rigid as you worry it will be an encounter with the heir and his goon, shimmering orange rushes from the brush easing your mind.

"Ah hello friend!” You call and the fox stops in its tracks, task or hunt at hand long forgotten, “Did His healing power work?"

You cannot help the glee in your voice as you see your friendly fox sit near your feet, it swishes its tail and just like that another seems to appear. Wagging like an opposing pendulum beside the other.

"You have two tails now, oh” You give a sly smile, “Are you here to steal my liver?"

The kitsune chuckles at your joke, his little laugh echoing in the clearing. The haunting sound brings an odd comfort to you as he tilts his head as if someone is whispering to him. He gives a small nod before approaching, setting something in your lap that his black lips were not holding before.

A note of sorts and the flower he attempted to offer you earlier. The note reads in glowing golden red hue,

"Let’s start over again. Tea by the blue moon wild flowers at midnight.”

You sigh deeply, placing the card and flower deep in your tattered kimono with the thought of not showing up. Why would a God want tea with you? You who wears a scarred face and milky white eye. You give the kitsune a soft pat before standing, brushing the dirt from your deep brown kimono.

You spend the rest of the day as you told your mother you would, picking flowers to both practice arranging and drying for the upcoming festival. There were only a few weeks left and you had done zero practicing as you has promised. Your mother claimed this would help earn your keep with the village but you were sure that was more for her peace of mind than the truth.

With your basket heavy with the finest of flowers you head towards home, careful to avoid the path you last saw the God on.

And anytime you had thought you caught wind of his intoxicating smell of soft musk, pine and the biting threat of snow you turned on your heel as quickly and quietly as humanly possible, ignoring the gemstone gaze that bore into your back.

After a small dinner with your mother and hours of twisting flower streams to make crowns of, you finally get the chance to lie down to sleep.

But sleep doesn’t come, instead you’re wide awake as the moon leaks in the through the small cracks in the walls. Dust dancing on the low light as you sigh as if you were in love.

Deep, unsatisfied and often.

The invitation burns in the folds of your kimono and suddenly you are filled with action. Gently you rise, fumbling with your hair as best you can before you mumble curses to yourself. Placing a practice crown on your head and rouging your lips with the remnants of berries before you set out into the darkness.

Your feet seem to guide you on your own as you weave through the trees. Fireflies lazily floating in the air as crickets scream their symphonies at your feet. Finally you come across the mostly hidden spot.

Hesitantly you step into the clearing, blue moon flowers glitter in the light of the quarter moon as if sprinkled with stardust. Their silver sheen invites you in further as a wind sweeps through the patch. Your eyes rove over as you look for the Mountain God. When your search comes up empty you feel your heart free fall into your stomach. Heated foolishness creeps into your throat and cheeks.

Why would a God invite a mortal?

Blinking away hurt tears you turn briskly, stopping yourself from running from the clearing incase he is watching for the sake of his cruel joke.

That is until a deep voice rings out, vibrating the very bones in your body with a comforting hum.

“Little flower, Are we not having tea?” His tone is innocent and when you turn around with half a mind to fuss you see it. A beautiful hand woven rug that holds a low tea table, atop the dark wood sits finary. Foods, desserts and tea ware that would make the emperor jade green with envy.

“This is…” You whisper but he reaches his hand towards you, gently guiding you to a plush cushion, his strong hand wrapped steadfast around yours. He waits until you are seated comfortably before he sits close to you.

Almost too close, his shoulder could easily brush against yours in movement and it does as it takes you an eon to realize what exactly he is doing.

Preparing the tea. Immediately your stomach flips as shaking hands fumble to stop him, grabbing onto his large hands with a fervor unmatched. A quizzical look before a sly smirk paints his handsome features.

“A..a..a God should not be serving a m..mortal tea.” You trip over your words feeling self conscious as your palms feel is if they are sweating. Shame radiates through your chest as if a hot rod were shoved through your heart.

“Then let us not be a God and a mortal.” He smiles, lips curving upward gently as his shining teeth glint in the low light. You should be scared, frightened that you may have insulted him or worse yet earned the infamous Wrath of the Mountain God.

But you aren’t, if anything you’re on the complete opposite of the spectrum as the breeze shifts his scent closer to you. The forest alive at night, the sharp smell of snow mingling with the gentle fragrance of bloomed flowers.

Suddenly you feel dizzy and his next words do not help.

“Let us be more.” Again you feel the comforting hum in your chest, you decide now is a good time to let go of his hands.

He sets the tea before you, again you are faced with a pitiful reflection. You blow on the green liquid disrupting the steam and with it your image. It is quiet save the sounds of late night summer although it is not uncomfortable silence that passes over the hours between the two of you. It is easy as the two of you sip your tea and for a moment you think you’ve forgotten the sin you’re committing by forgetting who he really is. Occasionally the two of you would share a laugh, his shoulder brushing against yours before he comes closer, close enough your forearms touch as they rest against the table. His skin feels warm and smooth like a rock baking in the sun, his smile dazzling as his face seems to get closer. His finger hooks into your palm, lazily tracing the lines as if they were an old and familiar map.

“Why do you love the mountain forest so much?” His voice is so close you feel breath fan your cheek. Butterflies take rapid flight in your stomach.

Was it that obvious? I guess it would be with how much of your life you spent within these thick trees.

“There is so much to love in this place of solace. Every new clearing brings something of wonder. A waterfall, a field of flowers, a hot spring to soak your aching bones. Even just a small fawn grazing on the seeds the trees and flowers offer is more beauty than I can imagine."

His fingers stop, leaving an odd tingling sensation causing your nerves to stand on edge. Attempting to reach towards the soft touch once more. Kirishima looks to the moon and how it begins to set.

"Another day little flower.” He whispers, voice honeyed yet sharp as you find yourself standing on the edge of the woods, staring at your small home. You turn in a full circle and see no sign of the God causing your heart to grow heavy. Gripping at your chest as you make your way back towards your home, you thought maybe he didn’t like your answer. Maybe he read your honesty as a poor attempt of flattery.

What you don’t know is that he liked your answer a little too much.

It isn’t long before you find yourself in the same patch of flowers at a questionable hour sitting beside Kamisama himself. You swallow thickly, nails biting into your palm as again he pours your tea.

Is this right? Would your mother approve?

You were sure she wouldn’t, and not from your lack of manners but seeing the very man she so feared and having tea with him nonetheless.

“Something troubling you my blossom?” Flustered over his familiarity you stammer out a response.

“Just…just thinking.” You offer a shy smile as he returns a wolfish grin, you do not know that he can hear just how fast your heart is beating.

“Hmmm.” The hum rumbles in your own chest and large bottle flies take flight in your stomach. He brushes some hair out of your face so he can better see it. He smiles softly.

“I’ve been curious about why you are collecting so many flowers lately.” Rigid beneath his touch you fear you have angered him but it won’t be long before you realize just how infatuated he is with you.

“A festival for you Kirishima, Kamisama of the Mountain.” He lets his fingers play and twist in your hair. You try not to look away.

“You’ll be the guest of honor then?” His fingers brush down your heated cheeks.

Despite the intimacy of both his touch and proximity you give a loud laugh. Eyes looking at a blurred green version of yourself in your cup.

“No, I’m sure I could never be favored.” At least not by the villagers.

But you seemed to be favored by the Gods. You swallow thickly, of all the talk and importance of the festivals your mother never let you attend, so you are unsure what happens.

While you’re left home alone you could hear the loud beats of the drum, their feet hitting against the stone of the square and their joyous singing.

Sometimes you think you hear a scream.

But you cannot reflect on it long as a pair of soft lips press against your cheek. Then when you do not move they graze along your jawline before finding their way to your pulse. You give a small gasp and when he gives a small suck you a raspy moan. He growls against your throat, a sudden heat grows between your legs and you swallow desire whole.

He feels how tense you have become and eases up from your throat. Guiding you by your chin so you may face him before he steals away your first kiss.

Not that you would have given it to anyone else.

The next month is a game of cat and mouse. Both of you eagerly seeking the other out, yet making it seem as if it were a mere accidently. All the while a now three tailed fox smiles knowingly. It’s a blur of tea, mountain top views over valleys, and deep passionate kissing.

But this last encounter truly was by pure chance for both parties.

The pungent smell of sulfur tickles your nose, although this is the least offending spring. Its water a lovely milky blue that you’ve decorated with a few left over flowers heads. You sigh as you sink deeper into the borderline scalding water being sure to soak your aching hands and feet.

You’re thankful that the rushing water settles here in this cluster of rocks despite the small current that carries it away just a few feet down. A sigh leaves your body, eyes lingering to the light of the full moon before they flutter close. Your guard completely down as you know no one is going to be wandering around these woods.

It is the night of the festival after all.

And no one was sure as hell gonna be out looking for you.

Not even Kamisama as you were sure he would oversee the festival, it was held in his name was it not?

Sleep threatens to pull you beneath its veil so much so you do not hear the footsteps that approach.

He steps closer to the spot of his favorite spring and when he sees your head titling back onto the rocks, a fine blush blooms on his cheeks.

“My little hana?” His voice is soft yet concerned, startling you. The water splashes around as you turn to face him.

If you were flustered before you’re beyond that now. He has his back to you as he gives your privacy, face slightly turned but his eyes are not overlooking his shoulder. Your eyes widen as they take in His beauty. His hair tied up in a messy bun, winking blacks and deep reds beneath the moonlight. His broad shoulders exposed, eyes trailing down his sculpted back to see his bare buttocks. Strong, thick legs holding up this God of a man.

Well he was a God wasn’t he?

“Are you alright, lovely blossom? I didn’t know you’d be here I can come ba…"

"No. No no!” You interrupt, “I…"

It’s silent for a moment, lust moves your lips.

"I wouldn’t mind the company.” Your voice is barely heard over the swirling, rushing water.

But the smirk on his soft lips tells you that he had heard you. And he will never forget the invitation.

He turns to join you, your eyes following down the trail of his abs to his pointed V, you do not allow your eyes to travel further south and force them to his face. His glowing eyes bright, two shining rubies lighting up the night. He sinks into the water across from you, letting his arms spread and rest on the rocks.

You release the breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. Sinking into the water as you realize just how exposed you are. The weight of his gaze is doing something to you.

He keeps his eyes locked on yours, the heat of the spring makes you a bit dizzy and you’re beginning to wonder if it is his merlot eyes that have you on cloud nine.

That have you so bold. Bold enough you float yourself beside him, right into the crook of his arm. He gently slides it around your shoulders, pulling you closer to his chest.

“How was your day my sweet?” His voice is soothing but you’d rather not recount your day or the number of flowers you set just right.

“Boring. Yours Kirishima?” He smiles as you use his name.

“Same.” He places a chaste kiss to your damp hair line. It leaves you wanting more.

“A..again please?” He goes to kiss your forehead again but you tilt your face upward. He smiles, putting his hand at the nape of your neck. Leaning in impossibly slow holding your gaze. His look makes you impossibly higher and then his kisses your lips.

It is soft, it is slow, but each movement of his lips become more feverish, more bold. Like a cracked dam after a rain far too heavy, it is going to burst.

And it does.

Your mouth openes to him and he slides his tongue between your teeth, swirling and tasting your earthly, mortal form. You moan into the kiss, giving him more entrance, your hands clawing at his hair, his back while his hands follow your curves. Running up and down your sides, pinching at your nipples turning you into putty in his hands. You do not resist, you would never deny him and you’re sure he would never take.

He does nothing more than light exploring, commiting your skin to memory. You let out another moan, this one louder than before enticing his primal needs. As his tongue slides over yours his hand snakes to your lower back, pulling you into his lap.

You feel his harden asset resting close to your throbbing sex.

Would…would it be okay to bed a God? For a mortal to be touched by hands that can create and destroy in a matter of nanoseconds?

Suddenly you feel too hot, too flustered, too high as the world spins rapidly on its axis. You push back, gasping for air and immediately his lust is replaced with concern. He sees tears forming in your eyes, signs of some internal battle.

It reminds him of when he pours you a cup of tea but tenfold. He looks up at you, one hand traces down your spine before his other wipes away your tears.

“Blossom for me when you’re ready not when I want you, my little flower.” His voice is soft, reassuring, causing you to cry more. His fingers gently trace your scar, follow your spine, and continue to wipe away your tears when needed.

You nod helplessly, removing yourself from his irresistible lap, he pulls you to cuddle. A soft kiss to your hairline. The moon begins to climb higher in the sky and although your mother will not be home for some time, you still need to beat her home. Maybe he can read minds as he says.

“Let’s meet later tonight? Our usual time after your mother has returned home?” You nod against his chest, slowly stand. He supports your weight as he holds onto your hand as you ease out of the comforting water.

You look for your brown kimono but with every second you cannot find it panic seizes your bones.

“M…my kimono. I…I can’t find it!” You realize you may have misplaced it or worse yet placed it too close to the water.

Oh Kami did it get washed away?

“Flower, love. It is fine. I can help.” He snaps his fingers and you’re adorning the most stunning kimono you’ve ever seen. More so than what any painting of any God and Goddess meeting you’ve ever seen. You twirl in the ombre kimono. It starts out black, like a moonless night at the top before lightening until it is put glowing starlight at your ankles.

“Its gorgeous. But it is too much."

"Nothing is too much for you.” He stands, a kimono appears on his body as well, ombre again, black at his shoulders until it is blood red at his ankles. The bottom reminds you of the first time you had seen him when you were little. When he saved your life, a halo of setting sun emphasizing his status.

“We will meet again?" You nod and he cannot bring himself to say he is going to the annual meeting of the Gods because if he did, with you wearing this star woven kimono, he would whisk you away with him.

"Until we meet again."

With the sound of the window fluttering through the trees you find yourself on the fringes of the woods, just outside your home.

Gingerly you step into the field of flowers, slowly walking towards your house as you relive the time you most felt alive.

His lips, his hands, his body pressed against yours.

So caught up in your daydream, in your promise of later tonight, you do not see the eyes lying in wait.

Those prying eyes take note of your kimono and how it shimmers and shines with an otherworldly glow as you slip into your home.

It isn’t long before you hear a string of screaming and see a set of lights coming your way, close enough you can make out silhouettes and what the woman is screaming.

"SHE IS UNFAVORED! LOOK AT HER SCAR SHE IS TAINTED BEAUTY!” You realize quickly that is the wails of your mother.

Frantically you try to strip yourself of your kimono but a large hand strips away the door. Your faces are illuminated from the soft glow by your ankles making it clear to see a set of hard steely eyes with hurt but never regret as they should.

“Just like I said. A blessed kimono.” Kenji’s voice is as hard as his eyes as his father peers in, he smiles with delight.

“We are surely saved from the drought now. Kenji bring her to the festival."

"No.” Your voice is small, a foreboding dread feeds your panic as your mother cries, restrained by Kenji’s goons. You step back but he lunges for you, squeezing you so tightly you cannot breath.

The walk to the center seems like ages as you kick and scream, crying out for Kirishima.

“Yes call for our God. He will be happy to receive his gift, time is running out.” The elder speaks. You elbow Kenji square in the face, everyone panics as you begin to run. Kenji catches you again. The moon hands high over head, perfectly in the middle of the sky.

“There is no time left. Let’s do it now!” Kenji’s goon from before shouts, sending the crowd into a boisterous agreement.

Kenji withdraws his knife, both of your struggling for power. He leans in close, nose touching yours as the smell of copper and ash cling to his skin.

“You should have just stayed in your place ugly. Should’ve let me have my way.” He slices at you and for a second time a blade marrs your skin.

He is supposed to make this quick for you, one quick motion against your throat. Instead he lets the blade sink deeper, carve harder until his is splatter in your life’s nectar. Only you and your mother cry out. The rest of them pray and sing.

Kenji picks you up and tosses you into the brush of the woods.

“Have her now Kamisama and bless us with rain!” He speaks as if he is the current elder. Grey eyes cold as they look down at you. They retreat to their usual planned activities, dragging your lost mother with them to drink to their heart’s content. To make her watch what an honor it was for her child to have been chosen.

It hurts, Kami it hurts as you drag yourself through the woods. Briars tangle around your quickly growing limp limbs as you pull yourself deeper.

“Kiri…Kirishima!” Your once loud screams turn into hardly more than whispers. But that shouldn’t matter. He should still hear you shouldn’t he?

Was this not his domain? He can hear every rustling leaf, every snap of a twig, surely he could hear the pained cries of his lover.

No, no you shouldn’t call yourself that, you were not his lover, you were just favored by him.

And isn’t that always what you wanted? To be desired? Loved?

This was a festival for Kirishima himself so why did you think any different?

And why do you still call out his name?

Your vision blurs in purplish blues and blacks as you fade in and out, a soft sweet scent is tainted with stinging copper. You cough and more dark liquid sputters from your lips.

It reminds you of his eyes.

Kitsune comes into the clearing helping frantically. But you smile as you notice his fourth tail.

“At least I will not die alone…” You breathe as the fox attempts to lick at your wounds, “Why, why is he so cruel?"

Fat tears fall down your cheeks and the fox panics further. He opens his mouth, his voice comes out gravely and close to a growl without the animosity.

"Master does not know of this, master would never allow this!” He laps at your blood in a desperate attempt to heal you with what little grace he has been bestowed.

But it doesn’t matter as your world fades to black.

Kirishima steps through the portal near the top of the mountain to be met with a horrid sight, not realizing it could be worse than that. Kitsune’s normal Auburn fur is tainted a sticky black substance, Kirishima gets a closer look causing his blood to run cold.

He appears in the field of flowers, following the trail you left as a wispy form of you stands through your drained body.

“No.” Quiet before deafening loud, birds and animals flee away from him, “NO!"

The shades circle the clearing, too afraid to enter but too hungry to leave.

Kirishima shakily grabs onto your glowing hands, tears fall down your cheeks.

"I…I…” Tears prick his eyes, rage washes over his features, “Who?"

Your spirit cannot speak as you are still tethered to your fast cooling body. He follows the direction of your eyes, music and laughing become louder further angering him. A thought occurs to him, he reaches for the small golden chain that is at your spiritual ankle connecting you to your real body, he could keep you here, he could….but before he can break your life’s chain a mist of black appears.

"You know you cannot do that.” From within the mist comes a man with the head of a raven or a tengu, Kirishima is not sure. All he knows is that he loathes to see Death come too close to the things he loves.

“But.."

"Look around you Kirishima-kun. You’ve tried countless times to keep mortals before and what becomes of them? Shades, unwavering, thoughtless hungry shades as I’ve told you. Their spirits are so far corrupted they could never return to the cycle.” Death speaks the truth but it does not stop the anguish that sweeps through his body.

He cannot allow it just yet. He watches as your golden chain is unhooked, you walk backwards, keeping your eyes on your God as Death guides you.

“Until we meet again.” It is a whisper on the wind, a rustle in the leaves, a huff of a nearby fawn and babbling of the hot spring. He nods, eyes glued to you as you fade away into the black mist.

He breathes deeply as he picks you up, cradling your cold body to his hard chest. He walks gingerly with you as if he feared he would wake you, he only had on destination in mind. It does not take long before he is walking towards the center of the small town, houses darkened as the square is full of life. The smell of wine and food waft the cool air.

This only fuels his intentions.

He stands on the fringe of the crowd and it only takes a blink or two before the roaring party dies to deafening silence. People falling to their knees, their foreheads pressed into the bloodied bricks.

“K..Kamisama Kirishima, had we known you would grace…"

"SILENCE!” His voice shakes the very foundations of the homes, the shingles clinking in the wind. The trees quiver in his presence as the Earth seems to roar beneath his feet. His eyes are hard and dark like raw diamonds as he looks over their merriment shredding them with his gaze alone. The moon above suddenly glows red as if washed over with your blood, illuminating him in an ominous tone. The hue paints the village in eerie light as it fully bares witness to the wrath of the mountain God.

“Is this how you honor me?” A rhetorical question as he wonders how long this had been going on, the shades most likely and happily, eating the remains before Kirishima could have ever found out. He shakes, unable to reign in his rage.

“Look at her.” Three words, three words has well over fifty people shivering. Eyes barely coming up to look at the limp woman in his hands, skin already graying. Both eyes now clouded over and lips stained a peculiar red. Their eyes shift to the God they worship, the one they had been giving their most beautiful women too.

He holds eye contact with each and every one of them for a moment, staring into their black souls with a malice that could maim. He spies your mother, his lip snarls as he thinks of your scar.

He begins to wonder if this is why she had done it. He finds the elder, the one who wears the fine kimono. One of the few garments that is not tattered, dirtied or sullied red. He grinds his teeth.

“May you never forget this moment in all of your reincarnations. May you never forget her face and may you always feel an inkling of what I’ve felt.” The people weep, not for their own lives but from the feeling of the God’s heart overflowing in them despite him never shedding a tear. They do not ask forgiveness.

They cannot ask for forgiveness. Just as he sealed your fate all those years ago, he is sealing theirs now. With a stomp of his foot the Earth rumbles, slowly opening up into a jagged mawl. People scream as they reach for one another, grasping onto nothing. Only your mother waits for death silently. Her own tears streaming down her face as she etches into her last moments the sight of her failure. Of you taken from the world too soon.

The village is swallowed whole and now that it is over, he is still unhappy. The void in his cheat is far deeper than the Earthy chasm before him. He cries out in anguish pulling you impossibly closer. A fissure runs through the ground, deep and fast through the next village and the one after that.

In a loud puff of smoke a man appears beside the mountain God, he pulls down his black hood and his hair shines gold in the moonlight. His eyes like molten lava gleam with destructive glee. The Earth threatens to crumble beneath the new God’s feet, the dark chasm glows a bright hot red in his presence.

“No one ever strikes your ire.” His voice is dark yet excited, “And never enough to summon me. Need some pointers from the God of Destruction himself shitty hair?”

“Bakugou, I…” The mountainous man’s voice cracks, causing his friend’s brow to furrow. Bakugou takes in the sight of you withered in hands through ghastly means. Of the decimation and the level of it. Reaching over to another village and possibly the next two. This level of destruction would get the Mountain God into a lot of trouble but it was evident he did not care. Bakugou gives his back to the sight and finally speaks, lying a warm hand on his friend’s broad shoulder.

“If anyone asks, I destroyed the villages.” Molten eyes watch tears fall onto you and the ground beneath his friend’s feet. The golden haired man sighs, gently taking you from the arms of his friend who tries to desperately hold on to what is left of you.

“It’s alright, it’s okay.” A rare comfort from his companion, he takes your small frame and turns. He is going to gently lie you in the cooling Earth. A destruction God destroys in order for something new to be created. He plans to give his only friend a blessed grave for you so he can visit until, what Bakugou hopes but heavily doubts, Kirishima forgets.

“W..wait. wait. She needs…” His voice shatters as with shaking fingers he creates the very thing he had intended for you to have. Good fortune in the shape of deities or wild irises, circling one another to be a stunning crown. Instead of white they glow gold as he sets it atop your crown. Kirishima squeezes your limp hand a final time before letting you go. Bakugou breathes deeply as he works, pulling the ground back together with sheer force as the lava recedes. He does so until the two shelves barely meet, a rich bed of soil lies before his feet. Gently he lies you in the bed of dirt.

“Ashes to ashes.” Your body ignites from within, glowing in a golden flame until there is nothing left but dust on the wind and the golden flower crown. Bakugou pulls the dirt over your remains.

Kirishima falls to his knees, pressing his hand into the Earth, fearful he will forget a mortal like you, a mere blip in his infinite lifetime. The ground beneath him bursts and blooms in great color. All deep reds, golden yellows and blinding whites for miles.

“I will always love you my little flower."

The summer breeze feels warm as it rouses the scent of rain and the sound of chimes. You close your eyes and day dream of something long forgotten, of stories retold from an old book of legend you never read. Nervousness thrums through your veins as you stand beside your ash blonde friend, patiently waiting for the third party to arrive. The impatient man growls beside you as he spots someone he recognizes behind you.

"Oi shitty hair hurry up! Iris and I have been waiting here all damn morning!” Bakugou shouts, using your hero name. You turn to see your new patrol partner for future missions. The sun illuminates behind him, almost giving him a heavenly glow and you realize that there is something odd about the man who approaches you. His long flowing garnet hair is unruly in the wind, shining a red so deep in hue you first mistake it for black. His smile is sharp toothed and easy, causing a swarm of butterflies to take flight in your stomach. With your heart hammering out of your chest you cannot shake the feeling that something seems off about him. It is both other worldly and familiar, you feel as if his name sits on the tip of your tongue. A shiver runs down your spine as his glowing ruby eyes drink you in. He sees a faint mark traveling through your left eye as if it were a fading scar, maybe it was something you could not shake from a past long forgotten. His heart hammers in his chest as he speaks, your reaction to his next words will tell him what he needs to know.

“Hello my little flower, it seems we meet again.”

#kirishima x reader #eijirou kirishima x reader #bnha god au #bnha fantasy au #kirishima eijirou x reader #bnha 18+#bnha kirishima x reader #kirishima god x reader #bnha eijirou #bnha eijiro kirishima

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introvertguide · 4 years ago

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A Clockwork Orange (1971); AFI #70

The current movie under review is a well known but not often watched work from Stanley Kubrick, A Clockwork Orange (1971). It is one of the best known acting performances of Malcolm McDowell and it occurred very early on in his career. It turns out that McDowell plays a very good crazy. The movie was nominated for many of the major awards at the Oscars (Best Picture, Best Director, Best Screenplay, Best Editing) but didn’t win any because it went against The French Connection and Kubrick’s movie was so filled with explicit rape scenes that it was originally rated X. I am not one to judge a director’s vision, but it seems like the movie would have done a lot better without all the weird rape scenes. There is a lot of very beautiful cinematography as well, which makes the juxtaposition to the sex and violence all the more jarring. Let’s go over the plot and I will keep track of the violence:

SPOILER WARNING!!! THIS MOVIE PLOT IS ABOUT TO BE COMPLETELY SPOILED SO DON’T READ AHEAD UNTIL YOU HAVE SEEN IT ON YOUR OWN!!! UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOU WANT TO BE ABLE TO KNOW AND REFERENCE THE MOVIE WITHOUT DEALING WITH ALL THE RAPE. IN THAT CASE, GO AHEAD AND READ AWAY!!!

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In a futuristic Britain, Alex DeLarge (Malcolm McDowell) is the leader of a gang of minions he calls "droogs": Georgie, Dim and Pete. One night, after getting intoxicated on drug-laden "milk-plus", they engage in an evening of "ultra-violence", which includes a fight with a rival gang who are busy raping a girl (weird sexual assault #1 and violence #1). They drive to the country home of writer Frank Alexander and trick his wife into letting them inside. They beat Alexander to the point of crippling him, and Alex rapes Alexander's wife while singing "Singin' in the Rain" (weird sexual assault #2 and violence #2; this scene was cut down in the US to get an R rating). The next day, while truant from school, Alex is approached by his probation officer, PR Deltoid, who is aware of Alex's activities and cautions him. He does it at Alex’s house while on his bed and Alex is just in his underwear and Deltoid socks Alex in the nuts. Alex goes out that day and meets two girls and brings them home to have fast forward sex with them simultaneously (weird sex but not assault).

Alex's droogs express discontent with petty crime and want more equality and high-yield thefts, but Alex asserts his authority by attacking them (violence #3). Later, Alex invades the home of a wealthy "cat-lady" and bludgeons her with a phallic sculpture while his droogs remain outside (violence #4). On hearing sirens, Alex tries to flee but Dim smashes a bottle in his face, stunning Alex and leaving him to be arrested. With Alex in custody, Deltoid gloats that the cat-lady died, making Alex a murderer. He is sentenced to fourteen years in prison. His entry into the prison is shown in painful detail including a strip search for drugs. This includes a guard checking Alex’s butthole for drugs (which was cut down for an R rating in the US).

Two years into the sentence, Alex eagerly takes up an offer to be a test subject for the Minister of the Interior's new Ludovico technique, an experimental aversion therapy for rehabilitating criminals within two weeks. Alex is strapped to a chair, his eyes are clamped open and he is injected with drugs. He is then forced to watch films of sex and violence (weird sexual assault #3 and violence #5), some of which are accompanied by the music of his favorite composer, Ludwig van Beethoven. Alex becomes nauseated by the films and, fearing the technique will make him sick upon hearing Beethoven, begs for an end to the treatment.

Two weeks later, the Minister demonstrates Alex's rehabilitation to a gathering of officials. Alex is unable to fight back against an actor who taunts and attacks him (violence #6) and becomes ill wanting sex with a topless woman (attempted sexual assault?). The prison chaplain complains that Alex has been robbed of his free will; however, the Minister asserts that the Ludovico technique will cut crime and alleviate crowding in prisons.

Alex is released from jail, only to find that the police have sold his possessions as compensation to his victims and his parents have let out his room. Alex encounters an elderly vagrant whom he attacked years earlier, and the vagrant and his friends attack him. Alex is saved by two policemen but is shocked to find they are his former droogs Dim and Georgie. They drive him to the countryside, beat him up, and nearly drown him before abandoning him (violence #7). Alex barely makes it to the doorstep of a nearby home before collapsing.

Alex wakes up to find himself in the home of Mr. Alexander, who is now confined to a wheelchair. Alexander does not recognize Alex from the previous attack but knows of Alex and the Ludovico technique from the newspapers. He sees Alex as a political weapon and prepares to present him to his colleagues. While bathing, Alex breaks into "Singin' in the Rain", causing Alexander to realize that Alex was the person who assaulted his wife and him. With help from his colleagues, Alexander drugs Alex and locks him in an upstairs bedroom. He then plays Beethoven's Ninth Symphony loudly from the floor below. Unable to withstand the sickening pain, Alex attempts suicide by jumping out the window.

Alex wakes up in a hospital with broken bones. While being given a series of psychological tests, he finds that he no longer has aversions to violence and sex. The Minister arrives and apologizes to Alex. He offers to take care of Alex and get him a job in return for his co-operation with his election campaign and public relations counter offensive. As a sign of good will, the Minister brings in a stereo system playing Beethoven's Ninth. Alex then contemplates violence and has vivid thoughts of having sex with a woman in front of an approving crowd (weird sex), and thinks to himself, "I was cured, all right!"

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The book did not have as much of a downbeat ending as the film. There was a final chapter that explained that Alex had actually become cured and wasn’t obsessed with sex and violence. This final chapter was actually added after the book was published for American audiences and Kubrick, who lived in London, was unaware of it and didn’t include this in his movie. Upon being made aware of the new ending, he did not like it and ignored it completely. I think this was probably the right idea because it would have been a lot less memorable if it would have had a nice happy ending.

I find it interesting that the AFI has claimed this movie for America when it is clearly British. The movie is based on a well known British novel from a well known British author who was speaking out against American psychologists who were promoting behaviorism and cognitive behavioral therapy. The movie is set and filmed completely in London, England with an all British cast. The movie is also filled with artwork from famous British artists that were popular in 60s swinging London. The only claim America has is that it was not banned under the relatively new MPAA ratings, it was only heavily restricted with an X rating. England, however, stopped showing the movie because of the backlash from the religious right and the film was not available in the UK from 1973 to 1999.

I watched the unrated version with commentary by Malcolm McDowell and his insight made for a much more interesting watch. It became apparent that Kubrick did not care much about the safety of his actors. The director had a hard time getting the actresses being raped to exude the fear he wanted since they were impowered British art students and were legitimately having fun. Kubrick did not want fun, he wanted realistic assault and trauma, dragging out these scenes with dozens of takes. Malcolm McDowell was physically injured when his character was assaulted on stage during the Ludovico demonstration. He was also afraid for his safety when he was being drowned by his former droogs. Finally, McDowell’s cornea was scratched when they were wedged open for the conditioning scene and the actor was temporarily blinded for weeks.

It seems like I am being harsh on this movie and that I don’t like it, but I find it fascinating to the point that I have seen it a dozen times. The use of the false eyelashes on the top and bottom of only one eye gives Alex this look of having two sides. The use of blocking to show the allegiances of characters towards and against each other is directing along the lines of Orson Welles. The use of the music diegetically throughout that causes Alex’s condition is truly creative. McDowell was a great choice for the lead because his face is so expressive. I have not seen a better “happy angry” face with the exception of maybe Jack Nicolson. In so many ways, it truly is a great movie.

One reason for so many viewings is that I have seen this in some of my psychology courses, specifically in cognitive and behavioral classes. The whole Ludovico technique is supposed to malign the work of Watson and Skinner as reducing the reason behind one’s actions down to the environment, removing the idea of free will. When using behavioral therapy, do we just alter the stimulus and response so that a person has no choice but to obey? If so, is that taking away their freedom of choice thus making them less human? If a person simply chooses to be bad, is it their right to do so and they must face those consequences without outside influence forcing them to change? All very good questions that are brought up by this movie.

So does this film belong on the AFI top 100? I am going to say no. It is a British film in every way except for the director, so much so that this movie is ranked by the BFI. It was rejected in the UK for a long period of time while it became somewhat of a cult classic in the US, but this doesn’t make it an American film. It is worthy based on quality, but is disqualified by location. So would I recommend it? Well...no. I like the film and it is fascinating at a psychological level, but it is a lot of art for art’s sake without consideration for humanity. The message is horrifically bleak and the movie is very uncomfortable to watch at times, and most viewers don’t want to be challenged in that way. If you want a movie that will purposefully offend you and test your sensibilities, then give it a try. If you want a fun or funny movie with a happy ending, then this is most definitely not the movie for you.

#Stanley Kubrick #a clockwork orange #british film #academy award nominated #malcolm mcdowell #afi top 100 #psychology #behaviorism #introvert #introverts

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theflikchic · 4 years ago

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Things I Love About “Good Omens” (From A Christian)

I read the book a year ago but only just watched the show because of a fluke that made us get Amazon Prime. And now that I’ve gotten to watch it and really absorb it (and not be on a ton of painkillers, since I was recovering from surgery when I read it), I realized there were SO many things I love about it, most of which come from the fact that I...am Christian.

(So heads up: I’ll be referring to all this stuff as if it’s real since...it’s my belief system and I feel “Good Omens” is an awesome show so yaaay, celebrate that darn adorable angel and demon with me) (WARNING- LONG POST AHEAD)

- First and foremost: Jesus’ death. The way that was HANDLED so well just blew my mind. I have anxiety so I’ve tried to avoid all crucifixions scenes but I’m glad this was the one I saw because it was so respectful and heartbreaking (i was sobbing).

- It was also cool to see Jesus’ death from the perspective of people who aren’t Christian and to see that although they don’t believe him to be the Son Of God, they still recognize it as a tragedy.

- Frances McDormand as God. Okay, I was iffy on it at first but I was reminded that God is supposed to be the mix of masculine and feminine and He presents himself as Father to us so we can get a better idea of who He is. So although I refer to God as a man, He is supposed to be reflective of both so having a woman voice Him is a really interesting viewpoint........And I just like Frances McDormand.

- Newt’s casting. Just...so perfect. Exactly the way I pictured him.

- The fact that the angels mention how they’re celestial and not organic because HEEEELL yes,

- Adam and his friends ringing their bike bells just to tell everyone how they got into the airbase. Iconic.

- The fact that they toned down the Famine sequence. Reading that part made me feel so sick so I’m glad they toned it down for the screen.

- Michael Sheen’s terrifyingly accurate David Tennant impression.

- The angels, though seen as more aggressive than they probably are, are militant and that’s...kinda what they’re meant to be.

- The fact Heaven is filmed to be nauseating because (in my theory), we as humans find being good to be incredibly hard and stressful so we can’t imagine what it would be like to constantly be good.

- They defeated Satan with a MEME.

- Bonus: They defeated Satan and we got to SEE IT.

- Michael McKean. Bonus points because he’s one of my mom’s favourites and he made us all so happy.

- I’ve read Revelation TWICE and it wasn’t until I saw this that I learned 666 is an actual thing and not just a meme.

- The moment when Crowley prays. Biblically inaccurate but I sorta saw it as us in sin, as humans, praying to God because I have BEEN THERE. The amount of times I’ve asked God- “What do I do. I don’t know what to do,” is wild and I did it just earlier. And that moment hit me.

- “Oh.........FUCK,” *heavenly jingle intensifies*

- THE FACT THAT REVELATION KINDA HAPPENED

- The fact that, besides Crowley, there are no redeeming qualities in the demons. That’s a hard thing to write and they nailed it.

- *to the Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc jingle* Demons are holding a buuuuckeet!

- Although Aziraphale is genuinely a bad angel, he’s a pretty good representation of what we should try to be as Christians: loving, trying to help everyone, not kill kids, etc.

- “Tickety-boo,”

- The fact that they literally got ALL OF THE HOLMES SIBLINGS TO BE IN THIS LIKE WHAT-

- “We are Satantic nuns,”

- BOOK ACCURATE DIALOGUE

- I will praise Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett on this forever but the fact that the kids talk like kids. Because kids talk like adults. Because kids are little adults. Love it.

- The moment when Aziraphale at the sword and said to Adam- “We’ll be right beside you,” was like a hardcore guardian angel moment and I was SHOOK.

- The casting of literally anyone to play the angels, demons, and supernatural beings because- as Neil Gaiman and the Bible say- they’re genderless. They’re angels and demons.

- When Madame Tracy just screamed at that woman and she screamed back. That must’ve been so much fun to film, my goodness.

- The narrative creates a flawed way to try and talk to God and recognizes that it’s a flawed way, whereas the real way in the belief system isn’t because we as humans find it difficult to fathom that you can just...talk to the Big Boss.

- The little add-on that that one angel was from Sodom and Gomorrah. Which made me laugh but then made me sad.

- NOT ONE HUMAN BIBLICAL FIGURE WAS WHITE. NOT. ONE. AMEN.

- Those crappy camp chairs being in Hell because of COURSE they are

- The sea monsters. I just really like the sea monsters in Revelation so that was cool.

- Got to see Death ride that motorcycle because that’s the closest that we’re probably getting to a live-action “Soul Music”.

- War’s jacket.

- The fact that I had an existential moment when I realized Death being an actual...being is Biblical.

- Every “Doctor Who” reference.

- The hint that God planned everything because...just up.

- The repeated emphasis on how supernatural beings aren’t the reason behind every choice or event in history. Because they really aren’t. WWII happened because of humans. Supernatural beings can influence but they aren’t the REASON for everything.

- The pushing of the idea that the plan is “ineffable” but it constantly contradicts this idea because even in real life, God’s plan has never been ineffable.

- “He was waving,”

- God narrates so He/She knows everything which kinda gives Aziraphale and Crowley a Jonah-feel since they’re trying to outrun an almighty being. And obviously failing.

- Aziraphale’s gasp when he got betrayed. Legend.

- Agnes Nutter’s prophecies being insanely specific like the actual prophecies in the Bible. (I read a verse and Jesus said- “Remember me when there’s anger in the streets” and I was like WAIT)

- The emphasis that most- if not all- witch killings were rooted in sexism and superstitions. Also, that whole scene gave me “Holy Grail” vibes which is always a win.

- And most importantly: “Good Omens” has fun with the creatures and supernatural beings in the Christian belief system but never ONCE makes fun of the religion itself or the people who believe in it. The book takes an extra step and mocks organized religion (which, YES, do that, please) but it’s never mean-spirited. While flawed and inaccurate in some Biblical aspects (like the basic plot), it’s so funny and witty while remaining accurate in other aspects to the source material of the Bible such as the supernatural beings being genderless. It’s basically like- “Woah...it says in Revelation that there are giant sea monsters! We get to write giant sea monsters, awesome! What can we make the sea monsters do? OOooh, what if they took down a whaling ship?” It also gets the message of Christianity down: love others, forgive others, give second chances. And I feel that’s why it’s so effective, because it’s fun and cool but still hits those perfect emotional beats that resonate with everyone because they’re true. Love each other.

And go read more Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. They deserve all the love.

#goodomens #neil gaiman #terry pratchett #christian #ineffable #tvshows #aziraphale #crowley #davidtennant #michael sheen

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wickymicky · 6 years ago

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a month ago i watched every Twice video in order, some of them for the first time, because Twice was finally clicking for me and i was “getting it”. i wrote a little thing about which songs i liked and which i didnt, and i wanna expand on that cause my opinions have gotten more fleshed out over the last couple weeks of listening to them, and also some of them have changed. i just really like reviewing things, i hope that’s okay lol

so here are two or three sentence reviews of every Twice title track, in order

Like Ooh Ahh: i think this is one of their best songs, personally. it’s not as much of the bubblegum stuff they go for after this, but it’s extremely catchy lol, the “i just wanna fall in love!” and the “ha~~ ooh-ahh hage!” gets stuck in my head a lot. i just love the way this song’s instrumental sounds too, the aesthetic of it

Cheer Up: um okay so from hot to cold... this is my least favorite Twice song. i’m listening to it right now as I’m writing this, and I’ll listen all the way through, but i haven’t listened to it all the way through very often. i think the chorus feels out of place, so does the “be a man, real man” thing. i don’t like that. that ruins the song for me lol. i also don’t like the chorus much haha, it sounds like theyre saying “chore up” cause they went with 치얼업 (chi-eol/eor-eop) instead of like... even just “chireop” or “chi-eo eop”... they dont usually have ㄹ for an english r sound at the end of a word...

TT: ah okay nice we’re back on track lol, this song is fantastic and totally deserves to be their most popular song (at least in terms of music video views). when i first heard it i didnt like it cause i didnt like anything Twice lol... then when I listened to every Twice title track in order as i was beginning to “get it”, i liked everything except the “i’m like TT, ahhh, just like TT, ahhh” haha, i thought the fact that it was about the emoticon was weird and didnt fit the video, and the “ahh” was goofy haha. but now? god its so catchy lmao i always whisper-sing along to this part when i listen to this song haha. i love the echo-y reverb-y synths in the verse, and the instrumental in the chorus when paired with the vocal melody just makes it one of the best choruses in kpop lol. i think TT is their best song. the rap break doesnt feel like a rap break, it fits sooooo naturally in with the song, it’s so impressive. this song is so impressive

Knock Knock: initially i liked this song a lot, and i still do, but... this would be another group’s best song, easily, but for Twice... it’s a bit overshadowed haha. the guitar plus the synth is really cool though, its rare to hear a calming, sort of mellow, soft song with as high a BPM as this haha. one of the writers, Mayu Wakisaka, also was a composer for Loona’s Hi High and Fromis 9′s Love Bomb... and you can totally see that lol. all of those songs have high BPMs and are wildly catchy. still, idk, i like this song but i dont have a ton to say about it

Signal: this song is weird in a good way, i love really unconventional instrumentals. it sounds as alien and outer space as the music video haha. at first the “sign-eul bonae signal bonae” kinda annoyed me, but i got more used to it. i don’t listen to this song much, but i should change that, honestly. though another thing is that the music video has a lot those things where it adds sounds from the video that arent in the regular song, and has an intro i gotta skip every time lol, but like thats not a huge problem, i can just listen to the song elsewhere haha

One More Time: this song sounds like something you’d hear at a hockey game lmao. i dont even know really what i mean by that, i dont go to hockey games lol.... anyway. i like this song, but again, it’s kinda overshadowed. if i’m in the mood for the vibe this song has, there are other Twice songs that have it that i like more. it’s refreshing every once in a while though.

Likey: this song is so good!!! it didnt stand out at first, like, there’s not really a huge gimmick like some of the others... “likey likey likey” is kind of the same sort as the “just like TT” and “knock knock knock on my door” and stuff from other songs, but for some reason it feels less prominent in this song. i dont think this is their most iconic song ever, and its not genre-defining or one of the ones you’d mention first when talking about Twice, but it’s just a really solid song. one of my favorites

Heart Shaker: yeah, heart shaker is alright. it was apparently just a couple months after likey, and it feels like a similar concept? maybe it’s just the music video giving me that impression. it’s alright. the music video has the longest part with the distinctive way Twice shoots dance scenes... in that very nauseating way lol... but i don’t mind it lol i’m used to that by now

Candy Pop: so like, was this song sorta made for kids specifically? i guess i’m mostly just being influenced by the music video cause i’m watching it while writing this. i dont like the video much lmao it’s like a pokemon ripoff complete with Officer Jennies and Jin-young Brock. the song’s not bad though, it’s catchy but it’s a little too sugary sweet for me (which makes sense given the concept i guess). i like a lot of ideas in the instrumental though... because it was also written by the people who did Knock Knock, including the writer of Hi High and Love Bomb.

What is Love: this isnt their best song ever, but it’s undeniably one of their most solid. i listen to it a lot haha. the music video has a cool concept, i like when groups do this kind of thing (interpreting scenes from movies or famous music videos or popular culture). i don’t have much to say other than that i like it a lot, it’s one of my favorites i think

Wake Me Up: okay here we go, this is another one of the three Twice singles I just don’t really like. it’s a fine song up until the chorus. i just can’t get over the shift upwards in.. uhh.. scale? octave? pitch? one of those lol, or something else, i dont really know music terms like that very well haha. yeah though i just find it offputting.

Dance the Night Away: it’s alright. i’m pretty neutral on it. i was put off at first but i’ve gotten used to it. though still, i’m not that into it. i get that its a dance focused song and the choreography does look a lot more intense than their other choreos, and thats cool, but that doesnt make me like the music in and of itself. it’s a summer-jam type of song, and i’m not as into those anyway. there’ll never be a better kpop summer-jam than Red Flavor anyway lol

Yes or Yes: this is the other Twice that i don’t like haha. i just think the constant “you only one choice: yes or yes” thing is kind of annoying haha. also the chorus is catchy in a way that i dont think its especially exciting... it’s an earworm because i think it’s slightly annoying, not because it’s satisfying. of the songs that i’ve said i don’t like, this is the one i could see myself getting into the most. this might not always be in my “bottom three”. it is right now though

Fancy: this was the first comeback they had since i’ve been into kpop, and even though i wasnt into Twice at the time, i wanted to try it out just to see if it would change my mind, and it did somewhat.... sorta. it got the ball rolling for sure. it came out on my birthday, the same day as the Loona Fire dance cover haha, that was a good birthday. yeah this song is great, i think it’s better than any of their 2018 comebacks, personally. the concept isn’t all that different from normal Twice, it just appears that way cause the video is so lavish and elegant. it didnt convince me to be a Twice fan on that day it came out, but I liked what I thought made it different from the other Twice songs I’d heard. but now? what I like most about it is how very Twice it really is. the thing is, I wasn’t into Twice probably because the only songs i’d heard were Yes or Yes and Cheer Up, and those songs are still my least favorites lol. Fancy doesnt sound that out of place when you take into account their whole discography! i looove the video and i loooove the chorus so much, this song is great and i wonder if they’ll be able to top it if they have another comeback this year

Breakthrough: okay so in the last one i said i wonder if they’ll be able to top it this year, i meant in terms of Korean comebacks lol. cause in terms of just songs in general, if i include their new Japanese comebacks, they’ve already topped Fancy. this song is the one that finally won me over. this is the song that made me a Twice fan. now, this one is a little outside their typical concept, but they’re really really good at it nevertheless. i wonder if Twice is going a bit more in this direction? at least maybe half the time, alternating between the two styles now? cause Breakthrough continues a bit down the path that Fancy set for them. in any case, i love basically everything about this song, I’m so glad it got me to finally love their music

Happy Happy: so you know how I said that Breakthrough was a change from the bubblegum fun-fun style they’ve had and that move is what got me to finally be into Twice? well that made me think I’d like Happy Happy less haha, but actually I listen to it way more than I listen to Breakthrough, I like it more overall. this is a very Twice-style song, and that’s fine because it’s fantastic. this song genuinely makes me happy

oops didn’t i say i’d try to keep it to two or three sentences?

anyway yeah my favorite Twice songs are TT, Happy Happy, Breakthrough, Likey, and Like Ooh Ahh in that order i think

#twice #long post #kpop review #i'm sorry if i said anything you strongly disagree with lol #o

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hellyeahomeland · 6 years ago

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Me again with more Carrie and Saul. can you elaborate on how it’s different between them? You say it’s evolved but I don’t see how. Things have happened to Carrie especially, but I don’t really see how their relationship has changed at its core. Maybe Saul treats her more like an adult but even that’s debatable imo. I don’t mean to be argumentative for argument’s sake but... (continued...)

Cont… can you give concrete examples of how the development has played out on screen so I can understand it & hopefully S8 better. Specific scenes and what how they weren’t just individual scenes but changed the relationship going forward. Much appreciated! Oh and one more thing re: Saul and Carrie, sorry I forgot. Can you also venture a guess what it means in practice? What do you think will happen between them that will feel like closure or catharsis or something that’s expected of a show’s final season and perhaps finale as well?

Note #1: this became a lot longer than I expected (sorry, you asked!). Beyond what I’ve written, I challenge you to go back and watch these individual scenes. I’ve chosen ones from each season to illustrate the full arc of their relationship. Observe the differences in Claire and Mandy’s body language, in their facial expressions, in their discomfort, in the shared trauma of what’s come before. It’s deliberate writing and deliberate acting. Shorter version of this post is here, from April 2018.

Note #2: I chose almost exclusively scenes of conflict to represent the evolution of their relationship because I believe that conflict drives change.

PROLOGUE:

To understand the Carrie and Saul relationship, we’ve got to understand what their relationship was before we met them. From what we know, Saul recruited Carrie, straight out of college. He saw in her something special and unique, something that didn’t come around every other day. She was gifted but she was also alone. She had no partner. She was socially isolated from her family and from the world (he didn’t yet know of her mental illness). This was an advantage of sorts. It meant she could give herself more and more to the work, same as he did. Remember this is his Achilles’ heel: whenever they call, he picks up. He doesn’t know how not to. It destroyed his marriage. But he molds her in his image. He teaches her, he raises her, the way a father would his daughter. He brings her up. Their relationship melds the boundaries of teacher/student, boss/employee, mentor/mentee, and father/daughter. It’s personal, and it’s deeply intimate.

This is what we are given before the pilot and it’s what we’ve grappled with for nearly eight years: his attempts to harness her gifts–often to her detriment–and her simultaneous resentment of him for it and unwavering yearning for his approval.

Key Scenes in the Carrie and Saul Canon:

#1: “What happened to the Saul Berenson that trekked the Karakoram?”: Much of the season one conflict between Carrie and Saul comes from her three thousand miles an hour suspicion of Brody and him being like “whoa slow down pls.” He is the first person she tells of these suspicions and he essentially shoots her down, causing her to go rogue. It’s here where the lines become blurred between boss/protege and father/daughter, because the way in which he chastises and punishes her feels awfully familial.

So when Carrie finally reaches a breaking point in “Blind Spot” (the original Carrie Mathison Appreciation Episode), we feel that as though a family is breaking up. It doesn’t matter that she comes crawling back to him, just an episode later, remorseful.

Carrie underlines just how much Saul has changed: in her words, from the man who “did three months in a Malaysian prison” (HELLO???? repeat: he raised her in his image) to a pussy. We understand that Carrie and Saul are both outsiders in the CIA. We understand that Saul is still grappling with his former employee David Estes bring promoted over him. While Carrie truly seems to not give a fuck, Saul keeps in line. He says “yes, sir.” He advises caution. None of these are inherently bad qualities but in this scene we come to understand that what drew Carrie to Saul was not his caution, his yin to her yang, but his daring and bravery and “FUCK THE CIA” mentality (there’s a reason why that line is in this episode too).

#2: “You don’t know a goddamned thing”: This scene is now famous for lines like “you’re the smartest and dumbest fucking person I’ve ever known” (he’s not wrong) but this scene is actually one of the more important ones ever on this show, and I still maintain that t“The Choice” is the mos important ever Homeland episode. As to why this scene itself is significant in their relationship, I’ll allow Jacob Clifton to explain:

Saul is one thing only, and his love for Carrie comes out of the idea that they are the same. And he’s right. But because she’s giving up herself to something he can’t, it looks like they are not the same. It looks ugly to him. He fights it like an addict fights recovery, striking blindly at her softest places because can’t stand the change in vector: Her madness is only acceptable as long as it’s useful; her self-abnegation is only positive so long as he can understand it.

I bolded that last sentence because it’s almost shockingly predictive of future seasons. We can hem and haw all we want about Saul’s relative rightness about Carrie leaving the CIA for Brody being a terrible decision, but the truth is that he would have done it regardless of who Brody was. He would have done it if she’d left with Quinn, with Jonas, with Otto, with Estes, with anyone, or all by herself. I don’t actually believe that Saul wants Carrie to be miserable. I just think he doesn’t care. I think he sees her gifts, her “saving the world” (to be totally Mandy Patinkin about it) as a more profound and upright calling than, for example: having a family, being a mother, having an integrated and whole personal life… the list goes on.

But the moment when Carrie tells him she doesn’t want to end up alone her whole life, like him, is probably the first great fissure in what was until then a generally even relationship. It establishes her desire for… something beyond everything he’d ever shown her (she literally turns down the greatest career opportunity ever for THE DUDE IN THE SUICIDE VEST… and like, did we ever consider that wasn’t really about Carrie loving Brody so much but more about how much she really didn’t fucking want to be Saul????). She threatens his control and he strikes her at the knees.

#3: Literally all of season three: It’s difficult to choose a single scene in season three to encapsulate just how much Carrie and Saul’s relationship this season was changed but let’s just discuss the overall arc:

Saul and Carrie come up with a plan to lure out Javadi (i.e., Iran) since they know he’s partially responsible for the Langley bombing. In their shared plan, Carrie will pretend to be crazy in front of the Senate and the press so that she seems vulnerable to the influence of a foreign power. Coolness.

Except Saul changes the plan in the middle and:

Publicly blames the Langley bombing on Carrie

Outs Carrie’s sexual relationship with Brody on national television

Has Carrie committed to a mental institution for four weeks with little to no contact with the outside world

Sics Dar fucking Adal on her when she gets out of the mental institution in order to maintain the cover

The scene at the end of “Game On” where Carrie comes to Saul’s house and tells him the plan has worked is devastating to watch. I don’t think it was entirely clear at the time just how much Saul’s plan had strayed from their shared vision until Carrie tells him, through tears, “you should have gotten me out of there, Saul. You shouldn’t have left me in there.” He doesn’t say anything in response. When she tells him it’s too hard, she can’t keep going, he offers her some tea. It would be funny if it weren’t so fucking sad.

Again:

Her madness is only acceptable as long as it’s useful; her self-abnegation is only positive so long as he can understand it.

Season three was all about that: about the lengths Saul would go with Carrie’s own illness, and how far along she’d left herself go too. Javadi literally makes a speech about it.

Now, Carrie wasn’t forced to do any of this (well, except the mental institution, that was extremely forced). We see at times how desperately she craves his attention and approval: in “Tower of David,” when she pleads with her therapist to give a good report back to Saul; in “The Yoga Play,” where he berates her for getting involved in Brody Family Drama and tells her she’s ruined everything and ARE YOU HAPPY ABOUT THAT NOW CARRIE (god, the father/daughter vibes in that one are nauseating); in “Still Positive” when she calls him, triumphant, after having arranged the meeting with Javadi and he’s like “oh yeah by the way we lost you for a few hours there.”

(This doesn’t fit into the above theme but the scene at the end of “One Last Thing” when Carrie tells him in order for any of this shit to work they have to trust each other is one of the most interesting and important scenes of the whole season, simply because it implies one easy truth: they don’t trust each other. And what a change that is from earlier seasons.)

And yet, he needed her for it all to work. Saul may have been the mastermind of the entire clusterfuck of season three (better on rewatch than you would think!), but without Carrie literally every step of the way, it would have gone up in flames. She lured Javadi to America with her 95%-based-in-reality mania. She convinced Brody to go to Iran knowing it would almost certainly end in his death. And then she went straight along to Tehran knowing she’d probably have to witness it all.

The end of season three is super interesting in their relationship because I believe in my gut and in my soul that Carrie still resents Saul for convincing her to convince Brody to go kill himself. I really believe this. Again, she wasn’t forced. She did this of her own volition. But he planted the seed in her head, and I think some part of Carrie–likely equal parts rational and irrational–blames him for it, even as she mostly blames herself.

I won’t even mention Saul’s complete un-acknowledgement of Carrie being nine months pregnant in the last half of “The Star” but Saul basically ignoring Carrie’s child for four years is more significant than we give it credit for.

#4: “Escape or die. I promise.” The season four relationship between Carrie and Saul is interesting because it upends their previous dynamic. Carrie and Saul were always outsiders in the agency, but now he’s actually on the outside and she’s ascended, more an insider than ever. Also, I know part of it was grief, and again this is not an absolution, but where else do we think Carrie learned her casual disregard for human life? I’m just saying, season four came after season three.

So anyway, when Carrie promises to Saul that he’ll kill him before letting him be re-captured by the Taliban, we almost sort of believe her. She nearly killed him once before (wanna know the quickest way to get me from 0 to 1500 words on this show? mention the end of “From A to B and Back Again.” but actually don’t please).

The middle episodes of season four–Carrie nearly killing Saul, reneging on her promise to kill him, and then tearfully saving him from himself–are extremely moving. And they cement the arc of that entire season, of Carrie ascending where Saul had fallen. “The student becomes the master” (or the Drone Queen, rather) and all that jazz. Her journey to save her soul coincided with her journey to save him. Is that coincidental? Saul stopped being Carrie’s moral compass around the time he lied to her and had her committed. But just as Carrie is finding her way amid the chaos and fog of war, Saul is making backdoor deals with Dar fucking Adal to turn a blind eye to Haqqani’s reign of terror so that he could go and be the CIA director again.

Saul preached idealism and goodness and morality in an increasingly terrorized, dangerous, chaotic world. He raised her in that image. She strayed, but was finding her way back to it. In those final moments of season four, that betrayal is complete. She detaches from him. And their relationship is forever altered.

#5: “There’s a line between us that you drew. Forget that. There’s a fucking wall.” Oh, season five. This is getting really long so I’ll try to be succinct: Carrie and Saul’s relationship in season five is about her being in mortal danger and him being like “lol good luck….. NOT.” Ok, it’s only like that for an episode.

How do they come back from the damage done at the end of season four? I think the answer is that they didn’t. They’re not healed from it. Parts of Carrie don’t trust Saul, and parts of Saul don’t trust Carrie. There are the surface elements of course: Carrie went and found a cool life in Berlin, riding bikes and wearing balloon hats and such, working for a man whose ideals often stood in direct counter to the CIA’s. In effect, she basically went and did the opposite of everything Saul had ever done. That this all comes in a time of real upheaval in Saul’s personal life (Mira divorced him, he’s literally fucking a Russian mole) only makes his ego more volatile.

And then we have The Landstuhl Conundrum. I’m calling it this because it doesn’t yet have a name but I’m referring to the moment when the doctors say that they can’t wake Quinn from a coma, because if they do he will probably die or have irreversible brain damage. But Carrie and Saul believe he has valuable information about a terror cell that he’d eagerly share after coming out of said coma. Honestly!!! This show is extremely ridiculous sometimes.

Anyway Saul is like “what would you want me to do if it were you lying there,” implying DUH she’d have him wake her. She says she can’t speak for Quinn. Well apparently she can, because she wakes him. Cue the irreversible brain damage, the almost-death.

Later Saul comes to see her and Quinn at the hospital and asks how he is. “Not great,” she replies tersely. He tells her he didn’t come here to fight with her.

Resentment City: Population of 1. I’ve actually beat this drum for a few years, but I still think that Carrie harbors resentment toward Saul for coercing her into waking Quinn. First Brody, then Quinn. This isn’t meant to absolve Carrie of blame. She convinced Brody to go to Tehran because she believed in that mission. She woke Quinn because she believed in that mission. But I do think that Saul gave her a nudge and I’m not 100% convinced that without his influence she’d have made the same choices. When we talk about Saul teaching Carrie, about him mentoring her… and then we talk about Carrie having no regard for human life, of choosing mission over man, time after time… how much of that is her nature and how much is him nurturing her toward that outcome?

#6: “Maybe I don’t like the idea of you worrying about me.” Season six is spectacularly dull on many fronts, and the Carrie/Saul relationship is not the centerpiece. The evolution of their relationship after Berlin has taken the shape of something like season three. Saul needs Carrie’s help, she’s in no position to give it, he coaxes her with some terrifying outcome If She Won’t, then she agrees, and things still Turn Out Shitty For Her.

Ultimately I think this season highlights that whatever difficulties they now have working with each other, whatever trust issues they both still harbor, at the end of the day it is ALWAYS Carrie and Saul Versus the World. That’s always what this story has been (though this is extremely different from their relationship being the same as it’s always been), and it’s what the show comes back to after Quinn’s death.

He still cares about her. She tells him not to, he’s not her fucking father. This is one of the great complexities of their relationship: Saul often does coddle her the way a father would a daughter, but he’s a firm believer in tough love and all the forms that can take.

Again, I don’t think that Saul wants Carrie to be miserable. I also don’t think he wants her to happy. Her personal fulfillment and well-being is just entirely secondary to her role in his own mission of Whatever The Fuck. I mean I guess his mission is for the world to be more peaceful and better but like… y’know how Thanos thinks that killing half the universe’s population will help with the suffering caused by overpopulation? I’m not saying Saul is Thanos. But they’re both deranged males! (Also, if y’all don’t think Saul would Gamora Carrie right up outta this dimension if it meant fulfilling his life’s mission then please let me sell you this Homeland lamp!) (But honestly, I’m not saying Saul is as bad as Thanos.) (Do not send in asks about this.)

#7: “You’ve given me a hard time these last few years.” Season seven takes the post-Berlin foundation that season six built and adds some new interesting layers that are like a weird inversion/combo of seasons four and five. Carrie’s more on the outside than she’s ever been and now Saul’s the one who’s gone to work for the enemy.

Still, no matter whatever shit has gone down between them, it’s still Carrie and Saul Versus the World. The show highlights some key ideas in the last three episodes. First, it fully acknowledges that whenever Saul comes calling, Carrie will always answer. Remember how he said this was his Achilles’ heel? Remember how in that same episode Carrie said she was going to be alone her whole life? Remember how Saul raised Carrie in his image? These callbacks are not evidence of stagnation of their relationship; they’re references to its elemental core.

Second, the show finally has Carrie acknowledge the… um… storm of shit Saul has put her through while also fully copping to the extreme codependence of their entire relationship:

I’ve not come all this way in that fucking plane and in my life to fail in that mission when I know I can succeed. You’ve given me a hard time the past few years. I’m in, I’m out, I’m all over the place. I am not all over the place now. I’m here and I’m all in, and I need you to say yes.

She pledges her devotion to the mission (above all else). She acknowledges Saul’s hot-and-cold nature with her. And then she says SHE STILL NEEDS HIS APPROVAL because–say it with me–they are in an extremely! toxic! relationship!

In a nutshell, the evolution of the discord in Carrie and Saul’s relationship started with him putting her life at risk in service of the mission. And now we’re at a point where she fully fucking volunteers for the task! In my heart of hearts I think a non-zero part of Carrie is doing it so he will love her more. Did I mention they are in a codependent relationship?

So where do we go from here?

If you are still reading, congratulations! That’ll teach you to ask me a question about Carrie and Saul! Actually, about five questions were asked. The last–what will happen in season eight that will feel at all like a catharsis–is not one that I’ve actually thought that much about.

I think I’ve made a case for Carrie and Saul’s relationship being the soul of this show–its mangled, twisted soul. The truth is their relationship is toxic. They are both their best and worst selves with each other. Like family, they know what buttons to push, and where to strike to make it hurt the most.

What catharsis looks like in this relationship depends a lot on how you see this relationship. For example, it would be cathartic for me for Saul to die, but that will almost certainly not happen. It would be cathartic for Carrie to strike out on her own–finally–and attempt some type of fulfillment. Also very unlikely.

If I had to guess about what the end of this story will look like for them, it’s probably with Carrie dead. Probably on a mission Saul convinced her to believe in.

Saul’s been alone his entire life. He will never be less alone because Carrie is alive. I guess that’s the prison he has to live in. And then maybe she’ll finally be free of hers.

EPILOGUE:

The above is a reading of their relationship that is quite sympathetic to Carrie, obviously, and quite unsympathetic to Saul, also obviously. You will probably disagree. Gail has written very interesting stuff on how the dynamic of the Carrie/Saul relationship is most like handler/asset. I think that is a very astute perspective and there are definitely aspects of it but I think the relationship more resembles the trope of found family: she is the daughter he never had and he is the stable father she never had, and they will both ruin each other. Fin!

#Anonymous #ask #hyh ask #by: sara #carrie and saul #homeland meta #long ass post

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skadventuretime · 6 years ago

Text

like crystal glasses, falling

hey guys! i participated in the @soulmakazine2018 with @ahshesgone and this is my entry! please see HERE for ash’s i n c r e d i b l e art; she was the best friend and inspiration for this, and i’m so thankful for her influence on this piece.

i hope you enjoy!

“Pass the salad, wouldja?”

Forks and knives clink on Tsubaki’s finest china while everyone tucks into the mountains of food before you. It is the biannual Spartoi dinner, an event that had grown organically once the mental scars from the battle on the moon made themselves known. You started coming because you thought humans needed companionship during rough times, but you are no longer certain you know anything about them at all.

Ox is chewing with his mouth open to your left. A gob of something lands on your arm with an impact soft as a fly and just as pestilent, drawing all of your focus to that small spot near the crook of your elbow. You can almost feel the saliva eating into the fabric, sinking closer and closer to your skin and then what will you do, then how will you keep the contamination from spreading through your skin through your veins inside your mind --

“Dude, the salad. Or do you need that in writing, too?”

Black*Star’s sneer splits your focus. His right eye is a nauseating blend of pallid yellow and deep purple, and there are many more small scrapes along his chin as if he had been knocked onto the pavement. Given the jobs he takes these days, he likely had been.

You tell yourself that Ox’s spit will not actually rot you from the inside out, and pass the bowl overflowing with vegetables Tsubaki must have picked from her garden. He takes it from you and doesn’t care that his fingertips slam into yours, doesn’t care that dead skin cells from the both of you are now in free fall, becoming dust.

“Would anyone like more to drink?” Tsubaki asks from the head of the table, a carafe of red wine in hand.

“Please,” says Maka from her right, and Soul shifts beside you.

“Same here,” Kilik adds, one arm around Black*Star and the other around his wine glass.

Yours is empty. It appears your father was right about your humanity, or rather, your distance from it. Alcohol does not affect you as it does your peers, sleep has only ever been a choice, and the smile lines you see at the edges of Tsubaki’s mouth will never crease your face. You are a visitor in their world, an observer and an escort. You do not need to fit in, though you wonder why you share their feelings. Loneliness seems unbecoming for a god.

(rest under the cut, or on AO3)

“She never used to drink,” Soul mutters to himself, as if saying it out loud will shed new light on why that is.

You remain quiet. It has never been your place to judge the souls of man (Leave living to the living, Black*Star once told you, sprawled out to watch the setting sun while his face burned with the glow of it), but there is something about being an observer that leaves you empty. Perhaps like them you are still growing, and in another hundred centuries this malaise will be a hazy dream.

“So Death, got any big gigs coming up? Maybe a plague or a natural disaster we should know about?” Liz is leaning back in her chair, nails lacquered daggers, looking at you with eyes that bring you back to the cold Manhattan night you met.

“Sissy, his name isn’t Death, it’s Kid. Death the Kid,” Patti says, worry lines creasing her forehead.

“Death is what he deals in, sounds fine to me,” Liz replies. She arches a perfectly sculpted brow at you and says, “Well? What’s up and coming in the underworld?”

“He’s not an oracle,” Soul snaps, sitting up. His anger filters into you through the lowkey resonance neither of you can escape at this proximity, and you try to diffuse some calm to him. It only seems to tighten the snarling coil in his soul.

“Aww, defending your new soulmate?” Liz purrs, leaning in. The tablecloth bunches in Soul’s fist. “Thought you’d be surly forever now that you’re not attached to Maka’s hip.”

Thoughts pour into your mind as his soul ruptures into yours, he’s too angry too out of control too why did Maka leave, I was trying to be her friend, what about that night beneath the harvest moon when she put her hand on my heart that afternoon picking strawberries when she took a bite and her lips glowed like stained glass that morning she was humming in the kitchen with flour in her hair that moment when --

You cut the thoughts with the sharpest knife your mind can muster and grab his hand. You’re okay, this is fine, you’re okay, you tell him, projecting a calm you hope he sinks into. You know he wants nothing more than to lose himself in your combined souls, feather out the edges until he no longer has to be himself. There was a time you had thought you wanted that, too, but after many tear-soaked practice sessions it became clear that you would never be Maka and he would never make you any more human.

Soul exhales through his nose. Maka is still determinedly in conversation with Tsubaki farther up the table, her face turned sharply away. Soul glances at her and then fixes Liz with a smoldering stare. “What about you, now that you don’t have the prestige of being Death’s weapon? Guess you’ll need to find a new sugar daddy.”

Kilik snorts and Black*Star grins. “Attaboy, don’t let her talk to you like that,” he says, purpled skin crinkling around his bruised eyes.

Harvar sighs and tips back in his chair until the front legs lift. “Are you both really going to be like this? We hardly have to see each other any more, does it kill you to act civil for a few hours twice a year?”

Liz snorts and starts talking to Patti about the high-rise penthouse suite she spent the night in a few weeks ago. Next to you, the tension drains out of Soul, and he slumps over his still-full plate. “I hate these things,” he mutters, moving a piece of broccoli around with the tip of his steak knife. “It’s been years since we’ve had anything to say to each other.”

“Speak for yourself,” says Black*Star in tones of mock offense. “I for one love to spend time with people who sit around judging or just plain ignoring each other.”

Maka stiffens and narrows her eyes. “You have something to say to me?” she asks, voice low and somewhat hoarse, like it was the day she requested a personal day to move away from Soul.

“Not everything’s about you, princess,” Black*Star replies. “In fact, I’d go so far as to say most things are not about you. So go on, get back to whatever little conversation you were having to avoid looking your former teammates in the face, Miss I’m-Too-Good-For-Y’all.”

“Now now, let’s be nicer to each other,” Tsubaki says with a nervous hand on her throat.

“Oh come on, we all know she’s not that great anyway,” Ox says from the other end of the table. A faint flush appears in Maka’s cheeks, and you feel the growl building in Soul’s throat echo in yours from the force of his emotion.

“Funny for you to say, Dr.-- oh wait, that’s right, you never could finish your dissertation, could you?” Maka says with a smile more suited for Medusa.

“Oh, real original, go for what has been common knowledge for over a year now; nobody cares,” Ox says, but the hand gripping his steak knife trembles.

“Yeah, get a room already, you nerds obviously need a hatefuck to clear the air,” Liz adds with a jagged smile at Soul.

“Guys, please,” Patti says, hunching over in her chair. “Stop.”

“I dunno, I think we just need to stop having these pointless get-togethers.” Everyone turns to look at Kilik, who has scooted back in his chair like he is about to leave. “What are we playing at? Nobody here actually gives a shit. We fought together when we were kids, but guess what? We were kids! We saw a lot of shit! And now we’re expected to play nice with the actors in our nightmares? No thanks.”

“Nightmares? A little dramatic, don’t you think?” Harvar says, giving his untouched wine a bored swirl.

“Yeah, well, you know, some of us saw a liiiiitle more bloodshed than others,” Black*Star says, teeth glittering. You have to quell the urge to go put a hand on his shoulder.

“Cry traumatized all you want, I’m just saying either deal with it or shut up,” Harvar replies with a shrug.

“I’m going to bring out the roast,” Tsubaki says a little too loudly, and shuffles back into the kitchen.

The reminder that they are guests in her home seems to dampen the mounting aggression. You take a bite of mashed potatoes and wonder if the act of eating is, for you, the same as throwing it away. Does the small enjoyment it brings make it worth the energy the plant used to convert sunlight to sugars, the human effort in feeding and tending the land, the water pulled from faraway aquifers, the fossil fuels burned to transport it to you, Tsubaki’s time in preparing it? You will live either way. The energy for life should not be wasted on a death god.

Tsubaki returns with a beautiful beef roast that she carves on a side table. When the platter piled high with meat comes to you, you pass it straight to Soul and tell yourself that someone worthier of it will now get to benefit.

“Would you pass the green beans, Harvar?” Maka asks, ignoring the disgusted looks from Liz and Ox. Unease sours your stomach. You don’t remember them being this rude to each other.

“Not really in a passing mood, thanks,” he says, and takes a delicate bite of salad.

You see the old anger flash in Maka’s eyes and open your mouth to say -- something, anything to stop the imminent violence you can see unfolding as if you have choreographed it -- but then Soul stands up. He strides over and grabs the bowl of roasted green beans without acknowledging Harvar’s exaggerated scoff, and then takes the three steps to Maka.

You expect him to place the green beans down near her plate, but instead he waits. Seconds tick by as he stands at her shoulder, bowl proffered, and you don’t know what to make of the sudden stillness from Soul’s side of the bond.

Maka tilts her head back. You feel it when their eyes meet, a buzzing mosquito that has finally decided to land. “Thank you,” she says, and helps herself to a portion of green beans. Soul stands there a heartbeat longer, face full of the depth of emotion that makes you wish again that you were human, before returning the bowl and taking his seat.

Conversation resumes, but it is quieter somehow, less for show, as if seeing what had been the longest-standing partnership speak again made everyone realize that civility has always been a choice. You remember how much their teamwork had always meant to everyone, had meant to you. You frown. Perhaps Black*Star was wrong, and you have living yet to do. Perhaps that, too, is a choice.

What happened between you and Maka? you ask Soul, who is still toying with the food on his plate. It was never something you felt was your business, but now you see that your detachment from the lives of those around you was not because you were concerned about their feelings, but because you did not want to hurt when you carried their souls to the other side.

Far too much, he responds alongside images of all of you trying group resonance, Maka’s expression when she burned dinner, everyone making faces at Stein behind his back during class, Maka holding out her hand. We didn’t know how to be in love and in pain at the same time. I want to be able to talk to her again.

You look around the table at all these people you had fought and laughed and bled beside, and for the first time in almost five years think of yourself as part of the group instead of by nature separate. You have been a fool to believe you should not still care for the lives of your friends even if you will outlast them, because whether or not you're human doesn't matter when you're brave enough to try. So you sit up straighter and ask with a directness you haven’t allowed yourself in so long, “What do you all want to do with your lives?” The question is met with abrupt silence. Everyone turns to look at you with varying degrees of surprise and indifference, which you can’t really blame them for. You don’t remember the last time you addressed them all like this, as a friend instead of Lord Death. “What are you, our high school guidance counselor?” Black*Star says. “Yeah, not to be rude to the boss that hasn’t given a shit about us in however long, but why are you asking now?” adds Liz, ruffling Patty’s hair. “I want us to act like friends again,” says Tsubaki. The worry and uncertainty that had clouded her eyes before is gone, and in its place is a fiery determination you last saw before the battle on the moon. “I want to stop waking up worrying one or more of you has gone and gotten yourself killed —“ a glance at Black*Star, who is fully attentive for once “— and then I want to teach the children of Death City that they are important and loved and will never have to throw away their lives for a conflict their parents or parent’s parents started.” A tear is running down her nose by the time she stops speaking, but her voice does not waver. “I wanna become a botanist,” Patty says with conviction, wiggling out from under her sister’s hand. “I wanna document all the native flora around here and see what kinda cool stuff they might do for medicine or agriculture and whatnot.” Liz looks momentarily taken aback. “I didn’t know that.” “You never asked,” Patty replies, and looks away. “I want to run for Congress,” Maka says, meeting everyone’s eyes. “I am disgusted about how we were the primary line of defense against kishin for so long, that others couldn’t have been trained in our stead. There must me thousands of people out there with weapon genes who don’t know how to deal with it, and I want to make sure those who are out there know they can learn to control it.”

Soul sits up next to you. “I don’t really know what I want to do,” he says, looking steadily at Maka. I only know who I want to do it with.

The vitriol from earlier in the meal fades. You see tired faces, some nostalgic, others hurting, and a few, like Harvar’s, blank.

“I don’t know what I want to do either,” Harvar says into the silence that followed Soul’s admission. “Nothing at all. What does that leave me?”

You see Kilik nodding while Liz stares at her plate, eyes empty. You are afraid of what you’ll see when you lean forward enough to catch of glimpse of Black*Star’s face, but that’s okay, because you have decided to live.

“I think that leaves you with possibility,” you say, meeting Black*Star’s eyes. “Not knowing means there is room to discover.”

Ox snorts. “Easy for you to say, Lord Death,” he says, putting his hands on the table. “But for the rest of us mortals, we can’t just up and decide to do something and have it all magically work out.”

More nods around the table. Maka is chewing her lip, looking like she has remembered something she would rather forget, and Soul has slumped in his seat again. “You’re right,” you say. "Anything people do takes time, and effort, and there are no guarantees. But it seems to me that the first choice anyone has to make is whether they are willing to try."

“Does any of it really matter though?” Kilik says, fist balled on the table. “The choosing, the decisions, any of it? What does it matter if I work for this job or that one, wear this color shirt or another? At the end of the day, we’re just slowly rotting meat.”

“I thought so, too,” you tell him. “I thought that nothing I did would matter to you, because what does a death god know of how to live? But here we are, really talking to each other for the first time in so many years. I think,” you pause to look around again and see traces of the people you had known bleeding through like sections of old photographs, “I think that will be the key for us. We were told for so long what does and doesn’t matter. Now we have to choose that for ourselves.”

There is another silence, though it is one you cannot place. Tsubaki breaks it after a minute to usher everyone into the living room for dessert and coffee, so you sit on her sofa and imagine what it would be like to see everyone smiling again.

Maka approaches you with two black coffees. “That was a lot,” she says, handing you one. “I didn’t know you had so many feelings.”

“Neither did I,” you tell her, and take a sip. It is intensely bitter.

“It sounded nice, but --” she pauses and looks around the room. You follow her lead and notice that the same small groups are gathered like pockets of the same magnetic charge. You suppose it was too naive to expect anything else.

“Change takes time,” she says, glancing briefly in Soul’s direction. “Unless you force it. But that creates its own problems.” She sighs and takes a step back. “Thanks for saying something anyway. It was a nice reminder that things don’t have to be this way.” She leaves.

You watch her walk over to Soul and place a light hand on his arm. You feel through the bond a wave of surprise and anticipation before you seal it shut in your mind. It is not your place to witness whatever comes next from such an intimate vantage. You do, however, watch the shape of them, hips squared and arms uncrossed. Perhaps something positive will come of this reunion, after all.

Soul sidles over to you once Maka is back in conversation with Tsubaki. “Well, that wasn’t so bad, I guess.”

You nod. “Was it a productive conversation?”

“I think so,” he says, and clears his throat. “She said she was sorry about how she ended things, and that she wants to talk again. She, uh.” He stuffs his hands into his pockets. “She said she still has my old bomber jacket, the one I thought I lost.”

That reminds you of how Black*Star used to take your shinigami mask every time he came to see you and wear it half on, half off until he left. You think of the power in such gestures, and allow yourself to hope.

So you and Soul enjoy some of Tsubaki’s fruit tartlets while quiet conversation hums around you. Every now and then, you catch lingering glances from one group to another, a considering stare where before there would have been outright hostility.

You take another sip of coffee. For now, it is enough.

#soul eater #somazine #madi tries words #i'm still staring at this art with the biggest heart eyes y'all

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jikooklaundryroom · 6 years ago

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Dry Pancakes

Gather around folks. It’s time to have an open and honest conversation about – yep you guessed it – Jimin and Jungkook and the behavior that mystifies the entire fandom. And notice I say Jimin and Jungkook, not Kookmin or Jikook, because this talk is less about them as a couple and more about them as individuals. A fair warning to everyone, only grown, competent adults are invited to this conversation. If you are a twelve-year old who wants to scream about top/bottom sex positions and Omega slick and Jeonlous tongue thing – please move on. This conversation is not for you. Adults will be talking here.

In this essay, I will NOT discuss Jimin and Jungkook as an intimate- romantic couple, or as boyfriends, or as domestic partners, or as husbands. In fact, those topics are so complex, that they will definitely need to be saved for another day. Lastly, the only time Tae will be mentioned is in this sentence because I plan to write a full separate tribute to this precious man so that I can properly call out how poorly he is treated and perceived because of shipping wars. Again, I give you fair warning, if this ain’t for you, move on because I can’t help you. OK? I am going to give you my honest opinion here and I won’t be nice about it. Pancakers, you should also be warned, you may be offended as well. I leave no stone unturned. Now that we have a proper filter in place, let’s get it.

The month of May gave us nauseating amounts of Jimin and Jungkook being seen together occupying each other’s space. For those of you have been living under a rock, I will do a quick break down of some of their time together: stage moments of laughing and teasing, stage moments of them comforting each other through difficult emotions (aka: the infamous ear sucking confusion), stage moments of them holding hands, sudden VLIVE, the two of them sharing a car, the two of them presumably sharing a hotel room, each one watching the other during rehearsals, the two of them watching fireworks, the elusive selca, the hand jockeying during the unboxing video and last but not least, the full day of sight-seeing they did with their friends in London. And of course, for every moment they DO spend together there is a sea of people who only care about the moments that they DON’T spend together. I’ll address both sides. Within this flurry of activity/inactivty, comes a flurry of narratives from different factions within the fandom attempting to define what is happening, attempting to brain wash the neutral observer into taking their side over others. These folks are literally and figuratively battling across social media to reign supreme in the war of narratives that explain Jimin and Jungkook.

Let’s break down some of these narratives and discuss why they are ALL bullshit shall we?

Narrative #1 -The “Bighit is forcing them to be together for publicity” crowd – This group thinks that everything that Jimin and Jungkook do is strictly for the sake of bringing publicity/attention to Bangtan. This shit has never made sense to me. Exactly what additional publicity does Bighit and Bangtan need? They just reached 20.2 million followers on twitter. They just won TWO Billboard music awards in America despite singing in only Korean. They’ve been announced as members of the Grammy Recording Academy, they received the Order of Cultural Merit award in South Korea, they spoke at the United Nations. They are the biggest boy band in the history of the world and if I am not mistaken they are currently on a sold-out stadium tour that has sold out over 600,000 seats in just ten shows. SO, tell me, what bitch doesn’t know who Bangtan is? Let’s pretend for a moment that Bangtan needed more publicity. What additional publicity would be achieved by insinuating a homosexual relationship between two members? Especially when you consider the vitriol that explodes when these two particular members are together. Do you really think that forcing Jimin and Jungkook into a touchy-feely spree will help Bangtan sell more CDs or get more YouTube views? If we consider how many homophones exist within the fandom, do you really think that highlighting the intimacy between Jimin and Jungkook would be viewed as positive and promote deeper engagement with the group? Absolutely not. Bighit is not encouraging Jimin and Jungkook to be fake gays for publicity. So again, I ask you, what additional publicity does Bangtan need? The answer is NONE; I think they’re good bro.

Narrative #2 - The “This is just fan service to satisfy the shipping culture” crowd – No other “ship” makes the fan more unhappy than Jikook. In fact, SNS explodes with negativity almost every single time that Jimin and Jungkook even breath near each other. Fans get extremely upset OR they ignore and refuse to acknowledge the interaction. So how can it be fan service if it pisses off the majority of the fans? Isn’t fan service supposed to make fans happy? I would go even further to say that Bangtan, Jimin and Jungkook in particular know full well how polarizing their interactions are for the fandom. Seems to me like they don’t give a fuck though. Fan service is to service the fans and give them what they want. They don’t seem to want Jimin and Jungkook as unit. And for those of you who think their relationship is manufactured to feed the pancakers out there, you’re mistaken and here’s why: Jimin and JK work very hard to avoid being caught or showing us too much. It is pretty common knowledge that most of their most intimate interactions are done AWAY from the cameras – a fact that we would never know if they didn’t accidently tell us. (“I go to Jungkook’s room at night when I can’t sleep because he also stays up late.” - Jimin) Often times, pancakers are VERY unhappy with the amount of interaction we get between Jimin and Jungkook and we are quick to yell foul if we aren’t “fed”. This once again proves my point, it is not fan service if it doesn’t please the fans.

Narrative #3 – The “We just don’t understand Korean culture “ crowd - Uuum what? Talk to K-Army and even they will tell you that the intimacy and togetherness between Jimin and Jungkook goes far beyond typical “fan service” or “cultural norm” that would be expected from the Korean culture. It also extends beyond typical friendly male behavior given their closeness. Westerners often get accused of “oversexualizing” Jimin and Jungkook or claiming something as homosexual because we “don’t understand” how Koreans interact. BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT. We know what we see. We know what K-ARMY has explained to us. We have taken the time to study the culture in Korea and talk with our fellow ARMY about Jimin and Jungkook. The conclusion is always the same; there is an entire relationship being played out in front of us and it is consistent, predicable and progressive. These interactions are not just fortuitous bits of circumstance by two friends. It is not just Korean culture.

Narrative #4 - The “Bighit is forcing them to be apart because they are too loud” crowd – Sorry Pancakes, but shut up. This has become a ready-made excuse for us pancakers whenever we don’t receive the interactions that we expect (demand, crave, obsess over). Do you realize how much influence Jimin and Jungkook have over their own choices? They are not mindless dummies who are mind controlled by their management. I will concede the fact that both of them are thoughtful and considerate of the feelings of the other members and they are also respectful of the wishes of management. So if either of the two entities gives them advice with regard to watching their proximity then YES, this could affect their natural behavior’s. You have that concession from me. But that is NOT WHY THERE ARE LULLS IN THEIR INTERACTIONS. Bighit management and Bangtan members are not playing some sadistic game of RED LIGHT – GREEN LIGHT with Jimin and Jungkook’s emotions. Think about how ridiculous this sounds to say to grown men, “Ohh well you two were too intimate and too loud and you could expose yourself so you better repress your natural instincts as best friends and then pretend that the other doesn’t exist.” And then conversely, “You two have behaved and been good boys, so now you are allowed to interact and act like you’re in love again.” If Bighit was trying to hide anything, they would shut it down completely, permanently - NOT IN RANDOM SPURTS. The two of them would be threatened beyond belief and I guarantee there would be contractual implications.

It is simply ridiculous, not to mention reductive to attempt to exercise that level of control over two rich, popular and very grown individuals. Guess what? It’s also impossible. Have you ever noticed that neither Jimin nor Jungkook are very good at following directions? If they are being told to stay away from each other, how come they never seem to do it? At best, they manage to tone things down for short periods, but inevitably they always go back to just being them. My fellow pancakers have even gone so far as to develop a theory that Bighit was keeping Jimin and Jungkook from ever doing VLIVES together. But just recently, we saw them splash tension all over the screen in a VLIVE between the two of them. If they were restricted from doing VLIVES, then why did they do one all of a sudden after a 2-year hiatus? Did Bighit suddenly change their mind and allow it? Of course not. There is a much simpler explanation and I will explain later.

Narrative #5 - The “They are just brothers, nothing they do is a big deal or any different from the rest of the members” crowd – Guess what? I actually agree with you, sorta’. So much of what Jimin and Jungkook do is the result of them being very close and loving friends who have been together forever. Even some of the gentler physical contact between the two is not exclusive to just them when compared to the other members. But the situation is not quite that simple is it? Brothers (not blood brothers) is just ONE of the many layers of the Jimin and Jungkook dynamic. There’s more, a lot more. I will come back to this one.

Hm. So if none of the prevalent theories above define the incongruent public intimacy of Jimin and Jungkook, then WHAT IS THE ANSWER? Simple. It’s called FREE WILL! No one, especially Pancakes with butter and syrup, want to ever admit that Jimin and Jungkook do exactly what they want to do. The reason they interact and the reason they don’t is because it’s what they want to do at that moment. They are exercising their FREE WILL. If Jimin and Jungkook don’t speak, it’s because they don’t want to. If Jimin and Jungkook don’t post on twitter, it’s because they don’t want to. If Jimin and Jungkook don’t post a selca, it’s because they don’t want to. If Jimin and Jungkook don’t do a VLIVE for two years, it’s because THEY DON’T WANT TO! There could be months that go by where they CHOSE not to let us into their private lives and we as Jimin and Jungkook supporters have to be accepting of that choice. Allow them to exercise their free will. In most cases, their free will is to self-manage their own interactions. Think about it this way – is everyday a good day for you? Probably not. Some of us have really good days and some of us have really bad ones. Our moods can be dictated by so many things such as: hunger, bad news, fatigue, negativity, irritation, anger, jealousy, illness, depression – so many things can affect how we feel and how we project our energy. These two men are no different. They are not immune to the emotions that plague the rest of us mere mortals. Travel with me for a moment as we reflect on just how much Jimin and Jungkook are together,

Sharing a car during transport to and from the airport

Sitting next to each other on the plane

Spending time outside of business schedules to attend personal events (movies, dinner, tours)

Visiting each other’s parents

Presumably living together

Presumably sharing hotel rooms when they travel

Working together

Practicing together

Filming together

Presumably engaging in intimacy together

Together- Together -Together –Together- Baam

That’s a lot of freaking togetherness. When we see them keep their distance, why are we surprised? It is clear that they are using their free will to be together MOST of the time and that is a sign of a very solid symbiotic relationship. So why can’t it be conversely true that they are also using their free will when they are apart? We pancakes are so quick to blame external forces when Jungkook and Jimin aren’t stuck to each other as opposed to blaming Jimin and Jungkook themselves. Personal growth can only occur when you broaden your horizons and experience new things, new environments, new opinions and new people. YES NEW PEOPLE. It is an exercise in self-care for them to be apart from time to time. We can’t and shouldn’t expect them to be together 24/7. It just isn’t healthy. I would say they live a well-rounded life when they can be happy apart but still prefer to be together. It’s beautiful. It you are truly a part of the Jimin and Jungkook nation, then your attitudes and opinions toward the strength of them individually or as a couple should NOT be predicated solely on what they do together and how often. Do I need to repeat that last sentence for the 14YOs who read this post even though I tried to filter you out? Just because the two of them don’t show us blatant interactions does not meant that is an indictment or indicator that the friendship/relationship/companionship/brotherhood is dead. Please stop posting fatalistic admonishments because their interactions are not timed according to your schedule. Let them live. Yes, I am saying that when we go through a pancake drought, it is because Jimin and Jungkook themselves want it to be that way. Not because they are being forced to do so.

Now let’s talk about the nature of their interactions by using myself as an example. I love my husband with all of my heart. He is truly my soul mate and we get along very well. Our relationship is so complex and has so many layers. We are friends, lovers, parents, mates, partners, business owners, even at times like siblings. So, when he and I interact, the definition of that interaction could fall within any of the categories that I just listed. It could be a friendly touch, or a sexual touch or a business partner touch – understand what I mean? The same is true with Jimin and Jungkook. Their interactions are highly conditional and must be reviewed within the context of the moment. Which means, when they are in friend mode and they hug, they honestly are just hugging as friends. Over hyping meaningless moments without placing it within proper context, makes pancakes look petty and delusional. Another example, when one is sucking the other’s ear – aww shit – I have no idea what category to put that in – but it ain’t friends – we need to hype the shit out of that one. That was a bad example. But you get my point. Moving on…

Let me make this really clear. Do you remember when you first fell in love with Bangtan? We fell so hard right? The music, the dancing, the talent, the fashion, the creativity, the visuals – we fell hook line and sinker. But there was more wasn’t it? Think back. There was soo much more. Yes my pancakes, we fell in love with their hearts. We fell in love with them as people. Above all, we fell in love with their AUTHENTICITY. You see, Bangtan was never fake. Bangtan never presented a closed-off image to us. They provided as much transparency and honesty as they possibly could, which was a HUGE change from what we were accustomed to seeing from KPOP artists (any artist really). They allowed us to have a real-world peak into their emotions, vulnerabilities and personalities. Bangtan’s authenticity is why we love them most and why we continue to love them. So when we see the love that exists between all seven of them, we know it’s real. Accordingly, there is an extreme affinity that Jimin and Jungkook have towards each other that cannot be faked. Even if they were being forced for publicity purposes to spend time together, they could not do it successfully unless there was already an underlying desire to be together. Furthermore, forcing someone to be together when they don’t want to be is paramount to torture and that would greatly affect the overall happiness and chemistry of the entire group. Imagine being forced to spend that much time with someone you don’t like. It also explains why we don’t see other couplings “forced” upon the members because it’s not natural. None of the members have a strong ability to vacate authenticity. They all truly exercise their free will.

And for my very last point, I want to talk a little tiny bit about the VLIVE (again). I have insisted throughout this rant that Jimin and Jungkook were never prohibited by Bighit from doing a VLIVE together. So why the 2-year hiatus? I think the explanation is pretty simple. As we saw, it is very difficult for the two of them to maintain “composure” when they are together. They show us so much when they fully intend to show us nothing. They are acutely aware of how they appear on camera – which is why I argue that their two-year hiatus was self-imposed. Think about how hard it must be in that intimate setting, sitting that close, talking that freely to repress their natural instincts to touch, or call each other pet names or possibly even kiss. It’s like freaking impossible. So why risk it? It is so much easier to just keep themselves out of that situation and instead watch each other do the VLIVES from off camera. As we know, even when one of them is off camera, they still freaking flirt. Imagine if they were both in front of the camera on a consistent basis. This goes back to my theory on free will. I honestly believe that these two are being very smart to exercise their free will to stay away from Jikook VLIVES.

I have probably not changed anyone’s mind and you will likely continue to incessantly spew your narrative, whatever it is. But for those of you who are a bit more open-minded, I hope you found some insight as well as clarity in my words. Here’s to loving our seven boys and obsessing over two of them.

So in conclusion, I have concluded. Thank you. Love you Pancakes – don’t be mad, k?

#laundryroommusings #jikook #kookmin #PancakeQueenRamblings

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imagineclaireandjamie · 7 years ago

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Flood my Mornings: Big Top

This story takes place in an AU in which Jamie travels through the stones two years after Culloden and finds Claire and his child in 1950 Boston.

See all past installments via Bonnie’s Master List

Previous installment: Fluff

Anon suggested (long ago): Flood My Mornings. Cannot get enough of this. Not sure if you’re taking prompts for this, but what about Claire taking both Brianna and Jamie to the movies for the first time. Small kids get so wide eyed at movies, thought Jamie might too??

And yes, I’m ALWAYS taking prompts for FMM :D -Mod Bonnie

February, 1952

It honestly was a shame that we couldn’t tell anyone about the whole time-traveling bit, because I could have made a barrel of money selling National Geographic the exclusive rights to ‘eighteenth-century warrior-type experiences moving pictures for the first time.’ While I was at it, might as well phone Dr. Spock, for Bree’s experience was almost as entertaining to watch as her father’s.

At the very first shot of the big-top, she had gasped, transfixed in pure delight in her seat between Jamie and me. The Greatest Show on Earth had seemed a safe choice for breaking them both into the world of cinema: no ghouls or goblins or wicked witches to give them nightmares. Besides, carnivals were familiar enough to Jamie so as not to be completely shocking.

So I had supposed.

In actuality, Jamie had gasped in perfect unison with his daughter, but in quite a different tone. The gasp had coincided with a JUMP, sending half the carton of popcorn flying in a glorious arc, the entire dance scored by the cheery fanfare of trumpets blasting over the speakers. Jamie had had the good sense to hand the carton to me immediately for safekeeping thereafter as the opening montage progressed, but our snack was still in some danger of spilling over, because I was barely keeping my giggles contained.

His arms were crossed and he was hunkered down a bit in the seat, like a sinner in church, one hand coming up to halfway cover his mouth. His shoulders were up around his ears in hopes of blocking out the sound. Eyes fixed on the projection screen and WIDE AS THE ENGLISH CHANNEL in a half-dazed sort of horror, he was like someone under the influence of a very overwhelming sort of drug.

It was a lot to take in, I supposed, trying to see it through his eyes. There was the Technicolor (which still felt incredible to ME!), the acrobats doing their amazing feats (a half-clad woman was twirling about a pole held up only by her TEETH for Christ’s sake), the elephants and clowns, the omniscient voiceover and blaring of music, and most of all, the rapid shot changes wiping across the screen and presenting a new visual landscape for processing every several seconds. Those could make anyone a bit queasy, let alone a First-Class Landlubber, who was currently as green as the seat cushions.

“Bree,” I whispered, eager to hear her take, “what do you think?”

“It’s—IT’S SO NEAT!!”

I tried to shush her, but she was too excited, positively ecstatic as she turned to Jamie in raptures. “Da, do ya like it?!?”

“mnuhnhhh...”

“That means ‘yes,’ lovey.”

I grinned over her head, then whispered to him with more genuine concern, “Are you going to be alright, darling?”

Jamie made as though to respond but apparently couldn’t pull his eyes away, and so only vaguely moved his head in circles, giving no indication if he was nodding or shaking it. He might not have known himself, to be honest.

Bree, a very perceptive person even at three, stood on her knees (nearly getting pancaked by the spring-action seat for her trouble) and patted him clumsily on the chest.

“Da, are you scairt of the moofie?”

He blinked, then smiled sheepishly (a very nauseated sheep). “A wee bit, cub. Are you?”

“Nope, but I can hold-a your hand, if ya want.”

“....Yes, please.”

#;mod bonnie #Flood my mornings

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sebbystanimagines · 7 years ago

Photo

Prompt: Attending a company Christmas party for To The Max, and bumping into Dayton.

Warnings: It’s a bit sad! Just a warning.

Author’s Note: I love this cute little bean so much. Logan Lucky was a Grade A movie, y’all. It really was one of my favorites.

You sat in your car, staring at the radio. It was playing a classic right now.

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose.

You inhaled deeply before turning the car off. Why did you say yes? This whole career and company was a bad choice on your part. Why why why why why why why why why why-

It took a few minutes before you actually got out of the car. Your heels clacked against the cement. This was a terrible outfit choice. it was actually snowing and you were wearing a short, velvet dress. You wanted to punch Max for having a dress code for the track girls for this party.

You knocked on the doors of the mansion. Hopefully no one would hear you and you could leave.

After a few minutes of freezing, you began to turn to leave. To your displeasure, the door opened. You turned with a smile. There stood good ole Max.

“Took you long enough. You’re the last one to show up. Don’t be like that on race day.” Max’s hand pulled you into the house with force. You had half a mind to punch those straight teeth out of his mouth.

“Sorry. There was traffic all up and down your street because of all the people attending,” you quipped. Max scoffed as he closed the door.

“Get here earlier next time, twit.” With that, he stalked off to join the large party. It was full of racers, social media influencers, track girls, and everyone in between. You didn’t feel as though you fit with any of these people.

You began doing your job shortly after. As a To The Max track girl, you were supposed to chat up the party. There was a strict dress code, and you could only speak about the company.

Needless to say, you got over that real quick. You stepped away after an older gentleman tried to feel you up. It was nauseating, really. You headed straight outside to stand by the pool. It cleared your head despite the snow falling all around.

“You okay? I saw that guy tried to grab you. I almost cut in but you had already left.” Your head whipped around to see Dayton White. It was so easy to place that face and voice. Though you knew he didn’t recognize you at all.

Funny story. You and Dayton used to go to school together. He was the popular guy, and not exactly a jerk, but for sure a dick. Your experience with him was heartbreaking, for you at least.

You were the fugly girl that people seemed to hate. You were by no means an athlete, and had hopes that were far too high. Anyone who generally looked at you glanced the other way. Your body was not proportioned well, and you were too tall for said body. They really were the worst years of your life, and the huge crush you had on Dayton didn’t help at all.

“I’m okay. Just needed to step out. It was so hot in there.” You hugged yourself to preserve warmth. Dayton stood beside you, which sent a heat wave through your body.

“Your voice is familiar. Do I know you?” Dayton looked you over. All he could see was a gorgeous woman with curves and a dazzling smile. It didn’t reach your eyes though. It hadn’t in some time.

“Not that I know of. I mean, I know you, but so does that whole room right there.” Your thumb jutted towards the glass doors. Dayton squinted his eyes as he kept looking at you.

He shook his head after a few moments. You grew nervous, but kept that smile on your face. It was a life craft for you at this point. Dayton might just untan-

“You’re Y/N, my track girl.” An epiphany, he seemed to have. You let out a small fake laugh.

“That’s me! It’s so nice to formally meet you.” You shook his hand, letting the cold blow past your the underneath of your arm. Small snowflakes landed on your arms, the two of you covered in little flurries.

“I feel like we’ve met before though. Maybe we attended the same school?” Dayton asked, hand retreating back after the hand shake. You said nothing as you watched the party go on. If he couldn’t look you in the eyes, he couldn’t tell who you are.

“Were you apart of the cheer squad at Williams High?”

You shook your head. Looks like you couldn’t run away from this one…

“No, I was in the chess club,” you admitted. Dayton squinted his eyes at you. He was trying to place you.

A look of recognition was slapped across his face. Dayton looked you up and down one more time. It was you, really you.

“Oh, oh my god, Y/N. You asked me out to the Winter Ball….’ He trailed off. You willed yourself not to cry.

“And you laughed at me in front of the whole cafeteria.” Your voice was watery, and you held your hand in front of your mouth. You had never seen Dayton look so…so sad. He was heartbroken, the look splayed across his face.

“I am so sorry. I was such a jerk back then. How can I ever make it up to you?” He stepped forward a bit, but you didn’t move. Instead, you wiped your eyes and smile.

“That, that’s in the past. Being laughed at for who I was molded me into who I grew up to be. Though I don’t think that’s a good thing. Not this time,” you said as you started to walk back inside. Dayton put a hand on your arm.

“Y/N, please…let me make it up to you.” Dayton was serious. He didn’t like such a smug asshole now.

“I really don’t know how. Part of me wants to spit in your face and damn you for every tear I shed because of you. Though that fat, ugly teenager in me could jump up and down, and shove it in every girl from school’s that I’m your track girl. It’s a precarious situation to be in.”

There were a few beats of silence before Dayton took a deep breath. He took your hand in his. Your entire body warmed up, gripping his hand out of instinct. “Let me give you that dance. Right here, right now.”

You couldn’t respond, as Dayton swept you into a dancing position. Music from inside wafted through some of the speakers outside. Tears trickled down your face. The moment was truly bittersweet. Everything you had dreamed of in the palm of your hands.

“What happened to football? You were the star….” You trailed off. Dayton shook his head, chuckling a bit.

“It wasn’t for me. Driving was though. What about you? What happened after school?” He dipped you low before bringing you back up. You looked at his face before sighing.

“Had a health scare, changed my lifestyle, and put myself into a strict mentality. Job hopped before finding this. Though I may not stay much longer. I’ll see you through the Coca Cola 600, then I’m gone.”

You couldn’t stay much longer. Dayton could get a better girl, and you could be rid of Max forever. Taking this job was a mistake. Maybe this cold weather and outfit helped you realize it.

“Don’t leave. Not yet. Make a decision after the race. Give me the time to make up for what a great girl I lost.” His pleading look killed you. You took in a deep breath before nodding.

“Okay. Don’t screw it up though.” You finally spoke. Dayton smiled, stopping the dancing to hug you. Something felt right about this…

“Thank you.”

#5 Days Of Sebmas #Sebastian Stan #Sebastian Stan x Reader #Dayton White #Liv #Merry Christmas #Happy Holidays #Day 3

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word-of-sanjana · 4 years ago

Text

Local Offices 2020

Ok, I am very hesitant to put my specific location info out there on the internet, but suffice to say, I am a Santa Clara County voter, and these are the offices at stake here in my area.

Researchers

Sanjana and her brother Aditya

all opinions belong to Sanjana

Short Guide:

US House of Reps, District 18: Vote Anna Eshoo over Rishi Kumar - those of you who know what it’s like living in a community with Rishi Kumar, I hope you are big enough not to wish such a nauseating fate on all of us in the United States

CA State Senator, District 15: Pick Cortese over Ravel, even though both candidates seem pretty solid!

CA State Assembly, District 28: Obviously pick Evan Low over Republican weirdo real-estate agent Carlos Rafael Cruz.

Judge of the Superior Court, Office No. 24: Stuart Scott gives me a bad vibe so I’m going to ABSTAIN from this one.

SUSD Board: The only candidate I feel comfortable recommending you vote for is Scott Adler. As risk management, for a second candidate, I will recommend Melissa Stanis because she seems more trustworthy than any of the other remaining candidates.

City Council: After watching the City Council Candidates Forum, I recommend Renee Paquier and Kookie Fitzsimmons. But even more than that, I recommend you watch the Forum and make up your own mind. I suspect that my priorities (connecting with other communities, making space for non-wealthy people, thinking about the needs of the larger Bay Area, dismantling the illusion that Saratoga is a “semi-rural” town), are not necessarily yours. Anyways, my former write-up is below, and I take it back because some of the candidates did touch upon at least a part of what I am concerned about. As they say, op-ed writing means always having to say you’re sorry.

Oh wow, turns out (to no one’s surprise), most of Saratoga and I have different ideas about responsibility, humanitarianism, sustainability, and above all courage. I am of course, talking about Saratoga’s complete refusal to consider affordable housing. This is the central issue for the campaigns for city council, and no candidates reflect my values, so I will be endorsing none. Privately, I will most likely vote for this office as a form of risk management, so if you want to do that as well, please consult the longer explanations below.

Long Guide:

US House of Reps, District 18: Ah, the local kiss-ass is trying to go to Congress. Rishi Kumar snaked his way into being a local “leader” in the community I live in just a couple of years ago. His main platform has been cuddling up with law enforcement, creating “neighborhood watch groups” that profile people on the streets, and showing an overall tone-deafness about privilege, race, class, and basic decency. A lot of my stories about him involve other people, so unfortunately I am not at liberty to share them here, but here’s a fun one that was published in local news. Rishi Kumar is slimy both in policy and personality, and if you support him, you’re a fool to think he would remember you ever again if somehow he went to Washington.

As for Anna Eshoo, she’s nowhere near my ideal rep- she’s a classic establishment Democrat and career politician, and I can’t see her pushing for much-needed changes in the Democrat Party despite her influence. She’ll keep doing what she always does, and “the usual” is not something I’m satisfied with. However, for this office this year, we didn’t have any good candidates, and out of all the scrubs who showed up, she at least has some basic competency to get the job done. So, for the sake of not unleashing Rishi Kumar on the nation, I’ll endorse Eshoo for US Rep.

Sources: candidate campaign websites, community connections

CA State Senator, District 15: I have some internal conflict over this one. Dave Cortese has been involved in South Bay politics for years, and has a strong backing from progressive groups. But on the other hand, Ann Ravel has a record of bravery in fighting dark money, and also, I like what I’ve seen of her character. Honestly, I wish both of them could go to State Congress (and how rare is it to feel that way about an election!) In the end, I am going to endorse Cortese for State Senator simply because progressive orgs that know more than me are backing him. Ultimately, you want a senator that will work with the local groups doing the work on the ground, and if these groups are backing him, then they must have faith that he will get the job done in Sacramento as well. Still hoping to see more from Ann Ravel in the future!

Sources: candidate campaign websites, this interview on Valley Politics August 2020, SF Chronicle endorsement, Progressive Voters Guide, research I did back in the primaries

CA State Assembly Member, District 28: This one is a no-brainer; vote Evan Low. He’s been around for a few years now and from what I’ve seen, he’s alright. Actually when I get more time to be a politics nerd, I might go through his voting record and see what I find in there; I was told by Progressive Voters Guide that it’s mixed, and I’m curious to see for myself. Oh yeah, the opponent in this race is Carlos Rafael Cruz, who is a never-held-office Republican real estate agent, who seems to think Sacramento is trying to take over parenting? He garbled something about how children are all gonna be “emancepated wards of the state”. Anyways, the choice is clear just from the ballot itself- there really was no other research necessary heh.

Sources: candidate campaign websites, Progressive Voters Guide, official ASM28 website, research I did back in the primaries, background knowledge on Evan Low from a few years ago in his last election

Judge of the Superior Court, Office No. 24: My friend in Chicago gets to vote Yes/No on Judges?! And here in California we basically don’t have a choice by the time the General election rolls around. Anyways, this dude, Stuart Scott gives me a bad vibe. He’s super pals with the police– and he used to be a prosecutor– and this incident rubs me the wrong way. So instead of voting for him, I will ABSTAIN.

Sources: Ballotpedia, 2016 Mercury News article, Gilroy Dispatch article

SUSD Board:

Scott Adler mentioned that he wants to “acknowledge and address racism, sexism, harassment and bullying” which sounds good to me. It could be empty words, but at least mentioning these realities is a needed start. I’ll give him a shot and say YES.

Melissa Stanis seems like a dedicated parent volunteer, which is not necessarily what the school board needs. I’m more interested in finding someone who will bring challenging issues to the forefront. But she does seem to really care about the students and the district, and that is not a bad base for a school board. (Plus, I didn’t like the candidates below very much.) So while it’s not an enthusiastic endorsement, she has at least half a YES from me.

Cecile Cohen-Jonathan mentions “social-emotional programs” for students, which sounds intriguing, but I’m unclear what these programs are without concrete details. Can’t support without enough info so it’s a NO.

Sunita Verma’s “Voice of the community” section says ”I will work to ensure visibility to all district stakeholders through open and timely communication,” and if I was a corporation, that would sound great. Unfortunately for her I am a human, so her corporate tone plus a lack of any interesting policies makes her campaign a NO in my book.

Azadeh Weber says some great things about mental health and about connecting with the larger community. However, she is also supported by the Libertarian Party, so... hm. In politics, it’s always best to look at actions first, allies second, and words third, so even though the words are good, the allies are not, so it’s a NO from me.

Sources: candidate campaign websites

City Council: Ugh. Ok, first things first- all these candidates are against SB 35, the bill that mandates counties build affordable housing. There are valid reasons to be concerned with putting local control in the hands of the state; HOWEVER, to my understanding, we in this area have not made ANY notable steps to build affordable housing on our own, so OF COURSE the state is going to take control when there is this crisis going on. Despite what many want to believe, Saratoga isn’t a separatist, elitist colony– we’re as much a part of the larger Bay Area community as anyone, and if we can help with the housing crisis, we have a responsibility to step up. SB 35 may or may not be the best way to force this town to help our community; there are, as always, legitimate concerns as to how changes will play out. But the housing crisis has gone too far for us to not take action, let alone pretend like we don’t have the means to do something. I find it shameful that so many of the candidates for city council are more interested in pushing back against SB 35 than looking for ways we can actually share support with the communities in crisis outside our borders.

[10/12, 11:30 pm: The City Council section is revised, with the old write-ups crossed out. I did indeed have to eat my own words on some of what I said previously, so please forgive me for being sharp-tongued on limited information. I have made the updated recommendations after watching the Saratoga City Council Candidates Forum.]

Belal Aftab may be what I initially suspected: a sheltered South Bay tech guy with political aspirations and a myopic sense of vision that extends to wealthy counties in the Bay Area and no further. He thinks Saratoga is doomed by SB 35. It’s a NO for him because while I don’t think he’ll change Saratoga at all, I do think he’ll continue the cycle of Saratoga elitism. Also, I don’t want to enable his inevitable State Congress run.

Belal Aftab is a finance/tech guy, but I wonder if he has higher political aspirations, given the pandering tone of the website. Anyways, his agenda has a couple of interesting ideas, like a “Psychiatric Response Unit“ and more city budget transparency. He also wants to work closely with the Sheriff’s dept. and wants to push back against SB 35, so clearly he and I are not on the same page here. I can’t in good consciousness endorse someone has a less than 50% chance of representing my values, so I’ll give him a MAYBE.

Renee Paquier seemed fairly balanced in her forum appearance. She talked about economic recovery for local businesses, which no one else addressed early on. She also consistently brought up discussion with community members, and deferred to the people most impacted when considering proposals. She also said she’s not against housing in principle, which is what I’m looking for (because I have lowered my standards after seeing the other candidates). Also, very tellingly, she was the ONLY candidate who supported Prop 15 (and one of two that supported Prop 16). I am still wary of her ties to policing, and given that we have a county Sheriff’s Office in our town, this is an important consideration. But by far she seems more progressive than any of the other candidates. Now that I have a better sense of her, I will say an uncontested YES.

Renee Paquier is a former cop turned West Valley Dean. She had no notable ideas, as far as I could tell. She does want to expand the Neighborhood Watch Program, you know, the one championed by the illustrious barf bag Rishi Kumar. Anyways, if it wasn’t clear before, it’s a NO.

John Fitzpatrick is obsessed with open space areas, and connects every question back to that. He says his lawyer skills will help when dealing with Sacramento. Altogether, it’s not enough so NO.

John Fitzpatrick seems really devoted to keeping low-income people out of Saratoga. His website even said “more highly skilled jobs in Saratoga could prevent the high density development that we are now facing,” which is real telling. I don’t have a NO strong enough for this asshole.

Kookie Fitzsimmons is a bit scattered but also does her research. She was open to new housing options and supports Prop 16 (one of only two people who do). I wonder if she’s too soft, but I’ll take nice over a snake any day of the week. Compared to everyone else here, she’s in the top 2 so it’s a YES from me.

Kookie Fitzsimmons has the worst website I’ve seen so far. I didn’t see any specific policies proposed, but maybe it’s just on a page I can’t access cause the HTML is so screwed up. No policy, so it’s a NO.

Doug Case had a good answer to the housing question about the need for space for people who need a place in Saratoga, like non-white collar workers whose children can go to the schools. But that was the only point on which we fully agreed. So he’ll come in third with a NO.

Doug Case has no website, and his candidate statement just talked about his life. So as usual, no policy, NO endorsement from me.

Tina Walia is very against SB 35 and very in love with self-promotion. She knows her policy and is ready to wield it against new housing as much as possible. She’s smart, so some of her suggestions are reasonable, but I see no evidence of a heart there. She kinda feels like a person who would be the headmistress of a school but doesn’t seem to care about humans as individuals to the point that you feel like, why did you choose this career? Anyways it’s a NO.

Tina Walia seems to have a great grasp of how Saratoga works, and would no doubt be an efficient and positive addition to the council. However, her policies are all in favor of minimizing Saratoga’s housing supply, with no other ideas detailed on her website. Hmm, should I vote for a probably decent person who has clashing values with me? MAYBE, but I don’t know what I’ll choose yet.

Sources: candidate campaign websites, LWV Candidate Forum - Saratoga City Council

Conclusion

Finally I am DONE! Researching those local offices ended up being pretty grueling. But they are all very important, so I hope you will vote in these elections, or whichever downballot elections are in your area. These are the positions that most directly affect people’s lives, so don’t forget about them! As of now [Oct. 12, 2020], this section is complete!

#santa clara county #california #ballot #election 2020

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bizmediaweb · 7 years ago

Text

4 Common Instagram Mistakes Marketers Must Avoid

Like tripping on a runway, an Instagram faux pas is a very particular kind of public humiliation.

When trying to establish credibility and grow your brand, the last thing you need is to get caught doing one of the blunders listed below. Continue reading to find out:

Four big Instagram mistakes that could damage your business’ reputation

Expert tips to help your brand avoid these humiliating gaffes

How to change your bad habits into best practices

Bonus: Download a free checklist that reveals the exact steps an adventure photographer used to grow from 0 to 110,000 followers on Instagram with no budget and no expensive gear.

1. Buying likes and followers

This one seems like it should be a no-brainer, but unfortunately this practice shows no sign of slowing down. When you buy likes and followers, you’re only hurting yourself.

I spoke to Erin Sousa, Vancouver-based digital marketing expert and founder of Sparkle Media, about why exactly buying followers and likes is such a cardinal sin.

“Buying Instagram followers and likes is really the equivalent of fraud, since many ‘influencers’ who do this are making money and receiving product based on their follower and engagement numbers. Anyone who’s done this runs the risk of not only discrediting their brand, but real legal ramifications—as some brands are adding clauses about fake followers to their contracts,” Erin explains.

Not only that, but buying likes and followers is strongly connected to poor return on investment (ROI) on the client side of things.

“It never pays off because brands that don’t see a ROI working with false influencers will put two and two together, realizing the numbers aren’t legit,” Erin says. “It hurts the industry as a whole since it degrades the user’s credibility. Brands leave the transaction thinking that the investment wasn’t worthwhile, reducing budgets for future promotional opportunities with legitimate influencers and Instagram users.”

Also, buying likes and followers won’t give you the return you want when it comes to your own business results. If you’re looking to grow a following of real people and other brands interested in your products or services, bots and fake followers aren’t going to cut it. Building a dedicated following doesn’t happen overnight—and anyone who thinks so is in the wrong business.

Instead of buying likes and followers:

Engage with the right people. Take the time to build a real community through your brand. Instead of automating comments, leave genuine comments on other relevant brands’ posts and engage with the followers who respond to your content.

Run a contest. I have discovered and followed so many interesting Instagram accounts thanks to contests. Run a campaign that asks users to follow your account and tag their friends in the comments. With a relatively small investment in the prize of your choice, you’ll see your follower count rise in no time. Learn how to run an effective campaign.

Promote your account. Run paid advertisements to lookalike audiences (those who have similar interests to your current audience.) Or, link to your Instagram account on your other social channels and website. Whatever you do, don’t make your future customers work to find your account. Make sure you’re easily discoverable and have the same account name across channels.

For more ideas on boosting engagement, check out our tips for getting more Instagram followers.

2. Using poor quality images

When a potential customer first looks at your Instagram page, what kind of message are you sending? If the message is “blurry photos and videos that look like they’ve been shot on a potato,” you might want to reconsider your visual strategy.

Using bad quality images immediately discredits your brand and gives off a less-than-professional vibe—especially on Instagram. When you have lackluster visuals cluttering up your Instagram page, it sends the message that you don’t take your business seriously.

First impressions matter when it comes to your brand’s social media presence, so make sure you’re serving up the best looks possible. It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money—some simple tweaks can make a huge difference.

These are a few tips you can put into action today:

Use the right tools. For example, I’ve found that lighting makes the biggest difference when it comes to my Instagram images. If I can’t get a photo in natural light (always the first choice) I won’t post anything without first adjusting the lighting in the Adobe Lightroom CC app. For more image-enhancing apps and tools, check out these 14 great resources to create beautiful images for social media.

Mix up the perspective. Don’t rely on the straight-on shot or flat lay in all of your posts. It’s important to provide your audience with different views and angles to keep things interesting. Close-ups, super far away shots, and videos all provide variety that will not only engage your audience, but will simply look better on your Page.

Carefully consider the background. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a potentially beautiful shot ruined by what’s happening in the background. Whether it’s a piece of garbage or a cluttered table top, make sure you put as much thought into the background as the subject of your image. For example, single tiles in natural stone or pretty patterns (from any home improvement store) can provide aesthetically-pleasing backdrops for a number of shots. For an extra professional touch, you can also buy a lightbox online for under $50.

Bonus: Download a free checklist that reveals the exact steps an adventure photographer used to grow from 0 to 110,000 followers on Instagram with no budget and no expensive gear.

Get the free checklist right now!

3. Posting too much or too little

We all follow a few of them—the Instagram accounts that post a nauseating amount to their Story. If you get anxiety the second you see all the tiny Story indicators at the top, you know what I’m talking about.

While you might be inclined to watch a long Story from your very best friend or mom, there’s no chance you’re sitting through a brand’s 100-post-long Instagram Story. Don’t be that brand.

Your target audience most likely doesn’t have the time to absorb all of that content, so you’re wasting time and resources ($) by creating it. Instead of posting every little thing to your Instagram Story, use it for business highlights and be a critical editor when it comes to content.

At the other end of the spectrum are brands that post so infrequently you sometimes wonder if they’re still in business. Your heart has stopped no less than 3 times when you thought your favorite local donut shop was closed—but alas, they’ve just become lazy Instagrammers.

I notice a drop in followers when I don’t post for a few days on my cat’s Instagram account, so can imagine the issue is much worse for a real brand (no offense, Gloria.) Ensure you post consistently to make sure your customers don’t forget about you.

To find your posting sweet spot:

Pay attention to analytics. Conduct a simple experiment by posting every day for a week, then every other day the next week, twice a day the next week, and focus on your results to figure out how much content your audience wants. You can also post a poll to your Instagram Story where you straight-up ask your audience—something I’ve seen brands get great results from.

Test different times. Your lack of engagement might not be due to the frequency of your posts, but because of timing. Follow our data on the best time to post on social media and then test a variety of times to get optimal results.

Think quality over quantity. While the details of your business are undoubtedly interesting to you, your audience probably doesn’t need to see where you take the garbage out at the end of the day. Before you go wild with your posts, think about what your overall goals are, and whether this specific piece of content will help you reach them.

4. Ignoring analytics

Imagine if you took a test and never got your grades back—it might be a surprise when your final report card comes and you find out you flunked your class. The same kind of unfortunate surprise can happen when you don’t pay attention to your Instagram analytics.

When you ignore your Instagram analytics, you miss out on important information that could help you plan future campaigns. Your analytics show you what content is getting results—and what content is wasting precious resources.

Analytics also help you get to know your audience better. When you know your follower demographics, interests, and online purchasing behaviour, you’re able to create content that better engages your followers. Do your followers prefer video content or photo posts? How many of them are swiping up on your Instagram Story and visiting your website? This is all key data that will help shape your strategy.

How can you give your Instagram analytics the attention they deserve?

Know which metrics to track. What are your business goals and objectives? Once you figure this out, you’ll have a much clearer idea of what numbers you need to keep track of. Some key metrics include: top posts (those that have earned the most engagement in a month), top mention (the most-liked post where another Instagram user mentions your username), new followers, engagement, engagement rate (number of engagements divided by number of impressions (how many people actually saw your post), and Instagram reach percentage (total impressions divided by total followers.)

Use the right tools. Whether you want to measure your audience growth, directed web traffic, or the success of your Instagram ads, there’s an analytics tool for your business. Instagram’s free native tool, Insights, will provide data such as how many users visited your profile, the number of post-saves you get, and how many times people sent your Instagram Story. Hootsuite Analytics will give you even more insights into your data—providing charts and tables that allow you to easily identify trends and growth. For more information, check out our list of the best Instagram analytic tools.

You might be guilty of some (or all) of the Instagram sins mentioned above, but it’s not too late to get back on track. Follow the expert tips shared above and never make the same Instagram mistake again.

Save time managing your Instagram presence using Hootsuite. From a single dashboard you can schedule and publish photos directly to Instagram, engage the audience, measure performance, and run all your other social media profiles. Try it free today.

Get Started

The post 4 Common Instagram Mistakes Marketers Must Avoid appeared first on Hootsuite Social Media Management.

4 Common Instagram Mistakes Marketers Must Avoid published first on https://themarketingheaven.tumblr.com/

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unifiedsocialblog · 7 years ago

Text

4 Common Instagram Mistakes Marketers Must Avoid

Like tripping on a runway, an Instagram faux pas is a very particular kind of public humiliation.

When trying to establish credibility and grow your brand, the last thing you need is to get caught doing one of the blunders listed below. Continue reading to find out:

Four big Instagram mistakes that could damage your business’ reputation

Expert tips to help your brand avoid these humiliating gaffes

How to change your bad habits into best practices

Bonus: Download a free checklist that reveals the exact steps an adventure photographer used to grow from 0 to 110,000 followers on Instagram with no budget and no expensive gear.

1. Buying likes and followers

This one seems like it should be a no-brainer, but unfortunately this practice shows no sign of slowing down. When you buy likes and followers, you’re only hurting yourself.

I spoke to Erin Sousa, Vancouver-based digital marketing expert and founder of Sparkle Media, about why exactly buying followers and likes is such a cardinal sin.

Not only that, but buying likes and followers is strongly connected to poor return on investment (ROI) on the client side of things.

Instead of buying likes and followers:

For more ideas on boosting engagement, check out our tips for getting more Instagram followers.

2. Using poor quality images

These are a few tips you can put into action today:

Bonus: Download a free checklist that reveals the exact steps an adventure photographer used to grow from 0 to 110,000 followers on Instagram with no budget and no expensive gear.

Get the free checklist right now!

3. Posting too much or too little

While you might be inclined to watch a long Story from your very best friend or mom, there’s no chance you’re sitting through a brand’s 100-post-long Instagram Story. Don’t be that brand.

To find your posting sweet spot:

4. Ignoring analytics

How can you give your Instagram analytics the attention they deserve?

Get Started

The post 4 Common Instagram Mistakes Marketers Must Avoid appeared first on Hootsuite Social Media Management.

4 Common Instagram Mistakes Marketers Must Avoid published first on https://getfblike.tumblr.com/

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